WITH his piercing blue eyes and rugged good looks, silver fox Roger Hawes has already seduced the nation on My Mum Your Dad – ITV’s new dating show for single parents of a certain age.
But it has been more difficult for the plucky postman to find love again on the show as he is still getting over the loss of his wife Joanne to cancer 18 months ago.
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Roger Hawes says being on the series was catharticCredit: ITV
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Roger with his daughter JessCredit: ITV
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Roger breaks down as he tells his TV companion Caroline about his late wife Joanne, leaving her also in tears Credit: Eroteme
Father of three children Roger (59) was warned by some members of his family not to expose himself to torture in front of millions of viewers.
So he’s thankful for his 28-year-old daughter Jess, because while we’ve yet to see him form a relationship with any of the women in My Mum Your Dad, simply being involved with it with her has given him new hope.
In his first newspaper interview, Roger told The Sun: “When Jess told me she had helped me, my mum and sister were worried I wasn’t ready.
“But I thought, ‘At worst, I’d have some stories to tell at the party.’
“I will never not talk about a woman. How can I forget? I look at the children and see my wife in them. She taught me how to love.
“I never got counseling – sometimes I wonder if I should have – but doing the show was cathartic, it still helps us.”
The series brought together a group of 40- to 50-something singles in a luxury mansion in Sussex, where their grown-up children secretly guide their dating trips.
Davina McCall is the host, and after just four episodes, the format has captured the nation’s imagination – largely thanks to the contestants’ raw, real-life stories, like that of widower Roger.
And this is in stark contrast to some of the teenagers and twenty-somethings on Love Island, to whom the show is inevitably compared.
At the end of the first episode, Roger talked about the loss of Joanna, his wife of 31 years, telling how she beat breast cancer, but then melanoma skin cancer spread to her brain.
In an emotional scene, Roger recalled their last moment together: “One day she said, ‘I’m very tired, put me on the bench.’ And then I come about half an hour later. . . in fact she never woke up again.”
It brought his first TV date, technical advisor Caroline, to tears, and viewers flocked too.
On grief, Roger said: “It’s strange how people treat you, especially at first.
“I think talking about it, not letting it be the elephant in the room, just makes it easier in the long run, not to skirt around it or try to ignore that it happened.
“I tell people openly, I don’t want to apologize for mentioning my wife. She was a wonderful woman.”
And of his TV date, he said: “I think I was lucky to meet such a down-to-earth and lovely person like Caroline and everyone in the house.”
A wonderful woman
Roger’s appearance on the show sparked a wider debate about his willingness to date on national television.
Speaking on ITV’s Lorraine on Tuesday, he said: “I kind of knew I wasn’t ready. It was tough, but it wasn’t something I wanted to miss.”
And he told The Sun: “I struggled on the show at first. But the people there helped me get through it.
“I was just hoping that maybe I could go out with some confidence.
“Losing Jo made me think that in life you have to go for it. If it’s bungee jumping or strapping to the wing of an airplane, I’ll do it.
“My brother said, ‘What an amazing opportunity – it’ll help take your mind off things’, so I didn’t set out with any goals or think too much.”
During the show, singles are set up on dates by their own children, who secretly spy on the action from their hidden bunker.
In a group self-improvement session on Wednesday’s episode, Roger said: “I’m bitter about cancer. He took my wife’s breast and then he wasn’t satisfied with that, he took her life.”
Watching the moment tearfully in the observation room, daughter Jess said: “He told me he wished he had died because he didn’t think he was good enough to look after us without her.
“After that we found notes that she left us, and in them she said: ‘I want you to move on, I want you to find love.’ So I hope he gives himself permission.”
So how does Roger think Jo would feel if he was on the show?
He said: “Some people have different personalities and will be one-sided with their friends and different with work, but with me there are no hidden agendas.
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Caroline is left in tears after Roger opens Credits: Eroteme
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In Roger form on My Mum, Your Dad Credits: ITV
“Jo knew me to the core, we knew what we thought of each other, so she wouldn’t be surprised by anything I do or say.
“She’d say, ‘Oh my God, I knew you’d be like this’. I wouldn’t be surprised at all.”
When the program launched, it was called ‘Middle-Aged Love Island’, but Roger said: “When I saw it was called that, obviously Love Island did so well, but it’s nothing like that.
“I can honestly say that the relations were very sincere. Every time someone was a little down, someone would hug them.
“Maybe it’s because there’s no award, maybe it’s because of age. I mean, I’m 59, so you can’t shake me. I won’t change now.
“But on the Island of Love, they try to make some careers, stand out and change their lives.
“I don’t want to change my life, but I would like to enjoy what I have left.”
Another difference between these two shows is the attitude towards sex and what will be shown on the screen.
Davina herself said that she was interested in the fact that the producers did not broadcast too much raunchy action.
A wanton act
She told The Sun: “I’d rather watch a hint of love, a hint of something to come — ‘I should, shouldn’t I?’ A moment of tenderness. It’s so exciting.
“But jumping into bed and shitting . . . once you see it, it means nothing.”
Roger said: “At the end of the day I think everyone was aware that their children would be watching it.
“Obviously we had no idea they were already being watched 24/7 – it was such a surprise, my God – but as I get older, I know there are certain things I wouldn’t want my family to see.”
Presenter Davina spends a lot of time in the bunker with the children and watching the series, which airs every night at 9pm on ITV1, meant Roger could finally see how Jess got on in that room.
He said: “She has really fallen for Davina now and I can’t speak highly enough of her and say how lovely she was.
“Davina is this, Davina that. Davina is brilliant — we get it!”
And he added: “I’ve enjoyed watching him so far. The difference for me is that I haven’t seen any footage of Jess talking openly about her mom and me.
“I cried a couple of times at that – it makes me very emotional.”
But there was an unexpected positive from the shown series – the reaction of the public.
Roger has been hailed as a heartthrob and style icon, and some say he could become a model.
He said: “It was all surreal. If someone says something nice about you in life, work, it will be good for you. But all that is also a bit strange.
“Every morning I dress myself and put on my socks, I even tie my shoelaces myself!
“No, to be honest, I’m always on ASOS, I’m ordering everything, I’m awful. I’ve always loved clothes, I have full closets.
“However, I don’t know about an influencer or a model. I accept the compliment, but I’m not so sure.”
Roger certainly won’t pursue a career in social media like many people who leave Love Island do.
He said: “I think I’m on Instagram but I’m not very good. We’re told not to watch anything while the show is on, but my phone rings a lot.
“I mean, I know how these things go, when people write nasty things.
“It wouldn’t really upset me, but I wouldn’t want to see anything about the family or anyone saying anything about Jess. That would make me very upset.”
What made Roger smile was the reaction to his frequent gaffes and gags.
He had viewers in stitches as he enjoyed using his toothbrush to clean his dog’s teeth on one date.
Pretty disgusting
Roger said with a laugh: “I have to say I don’t actually brush his teeth, I just let him lick the brush because he likes it.
“When I’m brushing his teeth, he jumps up with his paws and looks at me, like, ‘Please, can I just have one lick?’ so I let him when I was done. I always clean it afterwards.
“He’s supposed to be pretty disgusting. I find that not everyone does. . .
“He is unreal, he helped me with everything when my wife died. He is such a sweet dog and I take care of him every day. As everyone can tell, when I’m struggling with something, I usually make a joke or make a joke about it.
“There were times when I thought, ‘Why did I say that?’ so that was another beauty i went out with.
“(TV parent) Elliott, he was very wise and I’d make a joke and he’d say, ‘Rog, you’re doing it again, I’m serious, I want you to be serious’. “
For now, Roger is prepared for further awkward scenes as he laughs on his first dates in 40 years with the nation watching.
He added: “I have a lot more confidence than My Mum, Your Dad.
“I think the most I can say without spoiling anything is that I enjoyed the experience and will take a lot from it.”
- My Mum Your Dad continues every night at 9pm on ITV1 and ITVX.
My Jo taught me how to love
The new dating show is a far cry from how Roger first met Joanne back in the 1980s in a town in his native Chesterfield, Derbyshire.
They had three children together, son Ben and daughters Alex and Jess – who appears with Roger in the series.
Roger recalled: “Jo was a very beautiful girl. She was 18, I was 24, and she was seeing me at the local pub.
“Then one night I was out in Chesterfield having a drink with a friend of mine and he was with this girl and her friend was Joanne.
“Her friend came over and said, ‘I’m going with him, but Joanne has to go home – would you like to walk her home?’
“We went to a night club and ended up kissing. And we never stopped kissing. Then you couldn’t separate us.
“I think we kissed for about an hour and a half without saying goodbye.
“When I was growing up, I had a very close upbringing, but we never rejected the word love or anything like that, so Jo basically taught me how to love.
“She molded all the children and taught them how to love, and she had a great influence on all three of them.”
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Roger and Joanne as young parents Credit: roger.hawes01/instagram
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Davina McCall hosts the show and the format has captured the imagination of the nation Credit: ITV
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