Bethany Joy Lenz reflects on the “rude awakening” she experienced after leaving a small, ultra-Christian cult in 2012.
During the performance at Rooted stories of recovery with Patrick Custer podcast, the One Tree Hill The alum, 43, recalled figuring out her life after feeling infallible as a member of a group led by a shady pastor in Idaho who controlled her career, life choices and, eventually, her bank account.
“There’s no way I’m going to fall flat on my face and look stupid and feel stupid and hurt myself and hurt other people because I’m following all the rules, which is why it was such a rude awakening when I left,” she explained. , adding that her time in the cult was “the biggest drop ever.”
Bethany Joy Lenz says she never felt ‘butterflies’ in marriage to Christian ‘cult’ leader’s son: ‘A brotherly person to me’
Lenz’s departure allowed her to embrace a journey of self-discovery for the first time.
“It’s like I grew up in an environment where everything was prepared for me, I did everything everyone told me to do, I dressed perfectly, I showed up everywhere, I knew all the right things to say,” she said. hosted by Patrick Custer. “And suddenly I found myself in the middle of life, I don’t even know who I am.”
The actress said that she realized that she was living a facade, explaining: “Everything around me is expensive.” It’s all paper mush. And how do I go back to the beginning?”
“I’ll start in my car,” she said. “I will live in my car. I will show up every day for myself, for the people I know. I’m going to take off the costume, take off the makeup and start over and figure out who I am. How do I like my eggs?…What music do I listen to? How do I want to communicate with people? How do I like to be communicated with?”
She continued, “I mean, it’s back to the bare, bare, bare bones of reconstruction, like, who am I?”
Bethany Joy Lenz attends the Los Angeles premiere of Netflix’s new movie “Blonde” at TCL Chinese Theater on September 13, 2022 in Hollywood, California.
Axelle/Bauer-Griffin/FilmMagic
How One Tree Hill Star Bethany Joy Lenz Was Lured Into A Cult For A Decade—And How She Got Out (Exclusive)
More than a decade after leaving the cult, Lenz has had time to process her emotions and wants to “live by instinct because that’s the only thing I’ve been missing in life is to live by instinct and believe that there’s a safety net that likes to catch me when I fall on my face , which I will do.”
“I know this is the season and I want to approach it with maturity, but I just have to be free,” he adds.
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Lenz previously revealed during an interview with Good morning America in October that he left the cult for her daughter Rosie, who he shares with the group’s leader’s son, musician Michael Galeotti.
“I left for my daughter,” she continued GMA. – I left because it was time.
Lenz went on to recall her exact thought process at the time, sharing, “I remember thinking, I said, ‘I don’t know what’s wrong with me and why I’m going to let myself be treated like this, but there’s no way in hell I’m going to let for this to happen to her.'”
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Source: HIS Education