Bold and the Beautiful’s Sean Kanan Says ‘Fear of Losing’ His Wife Was ‘Ultimate Catalyst’ for His Sobriety (Exclusive)

Sean Kanan reflects on his journey to sobriety.

In an exclusive interview with PEOPLE together with his wife Michele Kanan, Brave and beautiful The 58-year-old star revealed what motivated him to quit drinking nearly five years ago. He recalled the moment Michele made a heartfelt plea that hit him “like a bolt of lightning.”

“She said to me at one point, ‘I’ve put my heart and everything into this relationship. Please tell me I didn’t back the wrong horse,'” says Sean, who played Deacon Sharpe — a similarly troubled character with alcohol — on daily soap since 2000.

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“I’ve been trying to get sober for a long time, and I’ve had intermittent periods of success followed by, let’s say, pretty catastrophic failures. But when I heard that, I don’t know. The sky split,” he continues. “It started something that was different than anything before.”

Sean says the thought of losing Michele gave him the impetus to make a permanent change.

“I believe there are two forces in the universe that create deep and lasting change in human beings, and they are fear and love. Both have motivated me,” he explains. “I was afraid of losing what I loved most, which was Michele, and that was the main catalyst that finally made me pull myself together.”

Sean Kanan in ‘The Bold and the Beautiful’ 2021.

Sonja Flemming/CBS via Getty

Michele was quick to clarify that she wasn’t giving Sean an “ultimatum,” but rather offering him a “safe space” to think within himself and do the work to set himself on the road to sobriety.

“I told him, ‘Look, this is our life together, or it’s going to be painful and you’re going to watch me slowly die because I love you, and I see you hurting yourself for some reason that I can’t fix, and that’s going to slowly kill me too. kill, so we’re into whatever you want, the ball’s in your court,’ she tells PEOPLE.

She continues, “To me, being a partner means taking the good and the bad. I always knew that guy was in there. I was just waiting for him to see that it was okay to come out. I thought if I gave him a safe space for him, he would could do that.”

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Sean says Michele instinctively knew exactly what he needed at that moment.

“I’m definitely that type of guy, if you poke me in the chest and you won’t get the reaction you want, but if you give me positive reinforcement and give me space to think a little critically, I almost always make the right decision. That’s what Michele did,” he explains. “I mean, she really played the long game. She understood that this wasn’t going to be a quick fix, but given the right environment and the right positive reinforcement, that I was going to get it.”

The Cobra Kai star says his hard-fought sobriety had a “profound effect” on his life and taught him a valuable lesson.

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Michele and Sean Kanan 2023.

Pascal Le Segretain/Getty

“Someone once said something to me, and it sounds so simple, ‘Would you give up one thing if you had everything?’ I gave up this one thing, and I have everything, I mean, I really have everything,” says Sean. “That doesn’t mean I don’t strive for more, but my life is amazing. Probably the most amazing part of Fr [giving up alcohol]apart from my relationship with Michele, is that I don’t miss her. It’s not like I’m white and holding my own.”

“I attribute it to God, to my relationship with the Almighty, that there was something fundamentally removed from me that I didn’t think could be removed,” he continues, adding, “I also attribute a lot to my love and relationship with Michele.”

The couple – who married in 2012 – share some of their relationship wisdom in their book The Way of Cobra Couplespublished on October 8. According to the synopsis, the book promises to teach readers “the thought, philosophy, and battle-tested strategies that led [Michele and Sean] to a life together full of happiness.”

Michele credits their open communication and unwavering honesty with getting them to a place where their relationship is now stronger than ever.

“When I first met Sean, he was going through some things and I was going through some things too. We were in this really troubled time in our lives, and we weren’t trying to hide it or pretend it wasn’t happening,” she explains. . “We just pushed through them. I feel like we came out the other side and we’re stronger for it.”

She adds, “Our relationship works because we talk ourselves. We care about each other and respect each other.”

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Source: HIS Education