Britney Spears Reflects on Madonna Kiss — and Her Mentorship: ‘She Demanded Power’

Britney Spears says she learned some important lessons from fellow superstar Madonna.

In the memoirs of pop icon Spears The woman in menow out, she recalls the infamous kiss she shared with the pop queen, 65, during their performance with Christina Aguilera at the 2003 MTV VMAs and the time they spent working together on In the Zone hit “Me Against the Music.”

“Every time we rehearsed it, we kissed in the air,” writes Spears, now 41.

She writes in her book that it wasn’t until “about two minutes before the performance” that she thought about the spectacle of her 2000 VMAs mix and realized she wanted to do something more. “I thought to myself: I want such a moment this year as well. With a kiss, should I just go for it?” she writes, noting that it has become a “big cultural moment.”

Britney Spears and Madonna at the MTV VMA Awards in New York in August 2003.

Frank Micelotta/Getty

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Spears also writes in the memoir that it was her idea to add a featured artist to “Me Against the Music” and says she personally asked the Material Girl to be a part of it.

On the set of the song’s iconic music video, the “Hold Me Closer” singer writes that she learned an “important lesson” when Madonna was adamant about delaying the start to fix a seam on her suit that came undone.

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“During our shoot together, I was amazed at the ways in which Madonna would not compromise her vision. She kept the focus on her,” writes the pop star. “Following Madonna’s ideas and having her time for days meant working with her. It was an important lesson for me, one that will take me a long time to absorb: she demanded power, and that’s how she got power.”

The “Lucky” singer notes that she was always “trying so hard to please” others because she saw the “passivity” modeled by her mother, Lynne Spears. “If I could go back now, I would try to become my own parent, my own partner, my own advocate – like I knew Madonna did,” she writes.

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“Madonna’s supreme confidence helped me see a lot about my situation with new eyes. I think she probably had some intuitive sense of what I was going through,” Spears writes. “I needed a little guidance at the time. I was confused about my life. She tried to mentor me.”

A few years into their collaboration, Spears was placed under court supervision in 2008, which lasted until November 2021, after she gave fiery public testimony demanding that the supervision be lifted.

Now, the superstar is bringing back his story with the release The woman in mepublished Tuesday through Gallery Books, an imprint of Simon & Schuster.

Britney Spears for PEOPLE.

Britney Brands

Britney Spears thanks fans for the book’s success and says the memoir has already made history: ‘Love You All’

In an exclusive email interview with PEOPLE, the “Toxic” singer opened up about embracing her newfound freedom.

Spears said, “Learning this new freedom, I admit, is challenging at times.”

“It’s finally time for me to raise my voice and speak up, and my fans deserve to hear it directly from me,” she added. “No more conspiracies, no more lies – only I own my past, present and future.”

Spears also shared advice with her fans based on what she’s learned in recent years: “Speak up. Be loud. Know your worth. Inspire people and above all, just be kind.”

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