Britney Spears Says Dad Body-Shamed Her During Conservatorship: ‘He Repeatedly Told Me I Looked Fat’ (Exclusive)

Britney Spears spent years under the watchful eye of her father Jamie as part of her conservatorship – and now says she was shamed during the difficult period.

In an excerpt from her long-awaited new memoir The woman in meshared exclusively with PEOPLE, Spears writes that she lost what little autonomy she had over her own body during conservatorship and alleges that Jamie made offensive comments about her weight.

“I was watched so much growing up, looked at from head to toe, people told me what they thought of my body, since I was a teenager. “Shaving my head and acting were my ways of giving up,” she writes. “But under the supervision of conservators, I realized that those days are now over. I had to grow my hair out and get back in shape. I had to go to bed early and take all the medicine they told me to take.”

Spears, 41, continues: “If I thought it was bad to be criticized for my body in the press, it hurt me even more from my own father. He repeatedly told me that I looked fat and that I would have to do something about it.”

Britney Spears Opens Up: ‘Free at Last’ to Share Her Story in Bombshell Memoir and New Interview — ‘No More Lies’ (Exclusive)

Britney Spears 2003

Martin Schoeller / AUGUST

The “Hold Me Closer” singer says she quickly lost the creative spark she had for singing and dancing, and blames Jamie, 71.

“Feeling like you’re never good enough for a child is a soul-crushing condition,” she writes. “He killed that message for me as a little girl, and even after I had accomplished so much, he kept doing it to me.”

Spears writes that living under conservatorship made her a “robot” and that she felt “deprived” of her femininity.

“If they had let me live my life, I know I would have followed my heart and gotten out of this the right way and solved it,” she writes in the book. “Thirteen years have passed while I felt like a shadow of myself. Now I remember how my father and his associates have had control over my body and my money for so long, and it makes me sick.”

The Spears Family in 2003.

Kevin Mazur Archive 1/WireImage

Britney Spears describes what it was like to live under the supervision of conservators: I became a ‘robot child’ (Exclusive)

The Grammy winner was placed under her guardianship in 2008. Jamie was eventually removed from his role as guardian of Spears’ estate in September 2021 after the singer’s lawyer asked the court to suspend him, and the entire guardianship was eventually terminated that November.

Britney Spears on the cover of PEOPLE.

Britney Brands

Although Spears has claimed that living under her father’s supervision was a traumatic, controlling period, Jamie has repeatedly maintained that he acted in his daughter’s best interest.

“I love my daughter with all my heart and soul,” he said Daily mail in a 2022 interview, “They heard the allegations from Britney. I don’t mind that because I know it’s not true and I don’t want to start something else.”

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The woman in me is Britney Spears.

As for why now is the right time to tell her story, Spears tells PEOPLE in a new email interview that after leaving her conservatorship, she finally feels “free” to speak out without fear of “repercussion from people who are in charge of my life . ”

“It is finally time for me to raise my voice and speak. And my fans deserve to hear it directly from me,” he adds. “No more conspiracies, no more lies – only I own my past, present and future.”

The woman in me is available for pre-order. It will be published on October 24 through Gallery Books, a Simon & Schuster imprint.

For more exclusive excerpts and interviews with Britney Spears, pick up the latest issue of PEOPLE, on newsstands everywhere Friday.

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