How RHOSLC 'Completely Changed' Heather Gay: 'I’ve Unburden Myself from a Lot of Heavy Baggage' (Exclusive)

Heather Gay says she is not the same person The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City viewers first met when the series premiered in November 2020.

Nearly four years after her Bravo debut, the reality star reflects on how the show changed her life in a wide-ranging chat with PEOPLE.

“Oh, I’m completely changed,” says Gay, 50, noting that living her life out loud on television — and then watching it again — was ultimately therapeutic. “I let go of a lot of heavy baggage that I’d been carrying for years, from my life before. And that allowed me to really evolve, not just as a woman, but as a mother.”

Heather Gay Says I Credit ‘Everything’ From ‘RHOSLC’ to ‘Second Lease on Life’ After Leaving the Mormon Church

Heather Gay on ‘The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City.’

Koury Angelo/Bravo

The gay woman — who is mother to daughters Annabelle, 21, Georgia, 18, and Ashley, 17 — spent four and a half decades as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints before leaving in 2019, the same year Bravo announced the launch RHOSLC.

“I never imagined that the series would be so successful. When we shot our opening credits, I thought it would be for a local production,” she recalls. “I just didn’t think he had the legs to go that far and I never dared hope he would go further than what was right in front of me.”

But the show took off, and over the years, so did Gay. Her business, Beauty Lab + Laser, is thriving. Her self-confidence, especially in her circle of friends, is stronger than ever. She has recently shined, including a 25 lb. weight loss (“Thanks, Ozempic!” he laughs). And in December, Gaye’s second memoir — Good Time Girl — will be published, next issue The New York Times best seller Bad Mormon.

“This is an exciting time,” Gay tells PEOPLE. “And I’m no fool; I know that none of this would have been possible if it hadn’t been for that Housewives.”

Heather Gay on ‘The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City’.

Fred Hayes/Bravo via Getty

RHOSLCHeather Gay reveals what she was ‘too ashamed to ever share’ in new memoir (Exclusive)

Bravo, however, can only get one for now. Gay had to do the hard stuff herself: that inner work.

It basically all started when she and her ex-husband Bill divorced after 11 years of marriage in 2011. Moving away from the Mormon church was a slow process over the next decade, but brick by brick she became more comfortable pushing those boundaries until she was ready to embrace the person that has now become

“I feel really empowered now,” she says. “When I first started Housewives, feminism and girl power made me uncomfortable because I just came from such a deeply patriarchal culture. Now I feel like I’m a total feminist.”

Heather Gay and her daughters.

Heather Gay/Instagram

Heather Gay celebrates her daughter Georgia as she graduates from high school: ‘I couldn’t be prouder’

It also helped Gay become a better mother, she says.

“My relationship with my daughters has never been stronger,” says Gay. “Before, I felt bound by the very way I was raised and the expectations of my culture and community. Now I’m going to be the mom I’ve always wanted to be. We have this new freedom.”

Children feel it too. “It’s going to be all four of us together, the three girls and me, just enjoying each other’s company, expressing out loud how lucky we are and how much we love our lives,” says Gay. “And in those moments, I just feel like it’s all worth it.”

Heather Gay visits ‘Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen’.

Charles Sykes/Bravo via Getty

Never miss a story — subscribe to PEOPLE’s free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. Being on reality TV comes with its own challenges, especially in the Real Housewives franchise. You experience conflict not only in your personal life, but also in the court of public opinion. Viewers will always have an opinion about you, good or bad, don’t be afraid to share it directly with you on social media.

But Gay, in general, sees the bigger picture. “I feel like the luckiest girl in the world,” she says. “All my dreams came true and it shattered this glass ceiling I had about where my happiness could be.”

“Who could have expected Housewives bring me that?”

The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City airs Wednesdays at 9pm ET on Bravo.

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Source: HIS Education