Terri Pous helped plan her first wedding – her sister’s wedding – when she was just 15 years old. Then, in 2016, when another of her sisters got married, she helped plan that too.
“I’ve always just loved weddings,” Pous tells PEOPLE. “I love that it’s a combination of all these things, it’s style, travel, food, flowers, it’s just such a happy thing.”
Pous is the author of a new book How to plan a wedding. In the book – which will be available in stores on December 12 – she shares her 12-month comprehensive calendar and guide to planning your dream wedding with less stress.
The book, he explains, also focuses on breaking down stereotypes in the wedding world. She says, “So much of the industry is so heteronormative, and it just leaves a lot of people out, and it shouldn’t.”
Terri Pous, author of the new book ‘How to Plan a Wedding’.
Penguin Random House; Hillary Snyder
In an exclusive interview with PEOPLE, Pous shares the top 5 mistakes brides make when planning their special day.
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“Give priority to what is important to you”
One of the biggest mistakes Pous sees people make when it comes to wedding planning is not prioritizing the things that are important to them.
“They just think they’ll have room in their budget and bandwidth for everything,” she says. “In reality, you’ll probably have to choose between things like a band or a DJ to save money or large floral arrangements versus something smaller or perhaps floral alternatives.”
She continues, “So if you don’t sit down at the beginning and work out what you want to focus on, it can be problematic.”
‘Personal touches go a long way’
“Remember that what guests really care about is drinking and dancing,” she says. “Don’t make it terribly inconvenient for them and then everything else is just extra. Trying to keep it in perspective is a good idea, people lose that sometimes.
“So, for example, I went to a wedding last year, where there were maybe a little over a hundred people, and there were handwritten messages for each guest at their place. I still remember how beautiful it was. I’ve never met a couple before. I was only a plus one and they still texted me and I said, I want to see more of this. I see more of those little personalized touches coming up and I think it’s just going to keep going because it’s such a nice way to make the wedding really personal as opposed to just another party.”
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Penguin Random House
‘Planning should be a joint effort’
Wedding planning “should be a partnership,” says Pous.
“Ideally, you both have your own opinion of what would look good and what would feel right to both of you,” she says. “It’s part of the whole idea of planning your future together. This is probably one of the biggest things you’ll plan together at this stage of your relationship. So I think you have to do it together.”
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‘Take some time to enjoy the engagement’
“Don’t rush into wedding planning,” shares Pous.
“I always recommend taking even a week or so at the beginning to just relax, drink champagne and celebrate with friends,” she says.
“My book is based on a 12-month planning schedule, but that doesn’t mean you have to start planning as soon as you get engaged,” she continues. “In fact, I recommend you don’t if you can because once you start planning, there’s a lot of talking about numbers in terms of people, money and logistics, and sometimes you can seem to lose perspective on the joy of it.”
“First comes the place”
“Venue has to be the first supplier you choose because venues are in high demand,” she explains. “Sometimes you’ll walk in with a date in mind and they’ll say, ‘Oh, we’re already booked.’
“Everything else comes into consideration,” she adds. “Then that determines your date. It determines the availability of other vendors. It can also determine the type of clothing you’re looking for and the atmosphere. If you thought maybe you wanted more of an English garden feel, but ended up going with a more industrial-looking museum, it might be hard to push them to look good together. That was a big ‘aha’ moment for me where I said, wow, that’s the first thing you should do. That sets everything else up.”
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Source: HIS Education