ULRIKA Jonsson told how she would pass out after a lonely binge of wine and spirits.
She got help after a concerned friend noticed she was out of control – and is now proud to have gone 121 days without a drink.
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Ulrika Jonsson admitted to passing out from drinking Credit: instagram.com/ulrikajonssonofficial
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The TV star reveals she is now sober after a friend shocked her after a booze sessionCredit: News Group Newspapers Ltd
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Ulrika spoke out in Sober October in the hope that it will help others feel less ashamed of their addictionCredit: Alpha Press
The TV star and mother-of-four, 57, spoke out in Sober October in the hope it will help others feel less ashamed of their addiction.
She explained: “The drink eased my anxiety. It transported me to another place where I felt at peace — where the problems of the world couldn’t get to me and, most importantly, where I felt numb.
“I drank to kill my feelings of anxiety and fears of everything.
“I was a very functional drinker. I’ve never woken up disheveled in a sick pool.
“But the number of times I blacked out and didn’t remember the night before when I was drinking alone was increasing.
“Now, without drinking, I feel calm and clear. Not that it’s easy to give up. It’s not. But it brought me much-needed peace.”
The former captain of Shooting Stars and manager of Gladiators realized that she had a destructive relationship with alcohol after a call from a friend.
Proud moments in the history of Lads’ Mag
She recalled, “One Saturday morning, my best friend, who I love and cherish, called me and basically told me that we had talked the night before and she didn’t understand a word I said.
“She told me I needed help. I knew it was coming from a place of love.
“The feeling of shame would be enough to make me want a drink. But not on that occasion.
“Instead, I sobbed like a child who desperately needed someone to hold her. I was full of despair.
“I was trying to deal with too many things in life and every time I thought I had all the balls in the air, someone would throw another one into the mixer.”
But it wasn’t until she reached out to another sober friend that she decided to quit her job.
I knew there was a problem too. I didn’t recognize myself anymore. I knew there would have to come a time when I would give up. But I had to find the will in myself. And finally, it came
Ulrika Jonsson
She added: “I also knew there was a problem. I didn’t recognize myself anymore.
“I knew that the time would have to come when I would give up.
“But I had to find the will in myself. And finally, it came.
“A few days later I was hungover again and felt only shame running through my veins. My head simply knew that this was the end of life as I knew it.
“I turned to a friend who hadn’t had a drink in five years and told him: ‘I can’t do this anymore.’ I had the gift of despair.
“And that was my first sober day. Since that day, I haven’t even touched a drink, nor have I wanted to.”
I turned to a friend who hadn’t had a drink in five years and said: ‘I can’t do this anymore’. I had the gift of despair. And that was my first sober day. From that day on, I didn’t even touch it, nor did I want to
Ulrika Jonsson
On why her drinking got out of control, Ulrika said: “It stifled my anger. I was angry at the world for various reasons. I would drink to remember the good times and to forget the current bad times.
“It was the perfect escape from my troubles. When I drank, I felt that I became a better, nicer person and more ready to deal with it. The truth, of course, was quite the opposite. Drinking made my anxiety worse which meant I would ‘self-medicate’ with drinking. It would calm me down, temporarily, and then it would come back with a vengeance.
“And so I was caught in the most terrible cycle of anxiety, the medication for which only made my symptoms worse.”
After splitting from husband Brian Monet in 2019, Ulrika lives in Berkshire with their son Malcolm (16), and is also mother to Cameron (29), Bo (23) and Martha (20).
She said: “As a single female household, there was no one to rely on. Nor was anyone to regulate or support me. It was just me and my friend, a drink. I have a family history of alcoholics.
“Both my grandparents on my mother’s side found it impossible to hold back.
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Ulrika separated from her husband Brian Monet in 2019. Credit: Alamy
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She said: ‘Drink eased my anxiety’ Credit: News Group Newspapers Ltd
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The Swedish-born beauty said she would drink to remember the ‘good times’Credit: Rex
“I’ve always been very careful with drinking. I was never even a regular drinker.
“I drank on special occasions. I have often looked at it as a celebration and the exception rather than the rule. I could go weeks without it, but if I poured myself some wine or spirits, I’d be a complete wreck.
“Historically, there were times when the occasional glass of wine just wasn’t enough, I just wanted to keep going; keep the drink flowing.
“But even when things got bad over the last year, I wasn’t drinking every day, but I was definitely going down that road towards the end.
“A hangover is mother nature’s revenge for a good time, so I struggled with drinking for two days in a row.
“Even when I was hungover, I continued to work hard and get to grips with life because I’m a grafter.
I established a routine of drinking and then punishing myself with hard work through the hangover
Ulrika Jonsson
“I established a routine of drinking and then punishing myself with hard work through a hangover.
“And then I reward myself with another drink at the end of it all.”
Ulrika added: “Research has revealed that British women are the worst alcoholics in the developed world. Men are still significantly more likely to drink than women, but we all know that men are ‘legends’ when they drink.
“When women drink, it’s shameful and embarrassing. Drunken women are messy and shameful; immoral and uncontrollable. Drunk men are funny. So, as women drinkers, we’re lost before we even start. I was a drunk and I say that without any pride.
“It was a source of great personal shame, but I am happy to say that today I will be four months sober. god willing.”
As for many, the lockdown was a trigger. She said: “I would reward myself with a drink after getting through the day with three children at home.” Ulrika admitted that “things have changed significantly” in the past year, adding: “In my life, I was constantly putting out fires.” There were family problems and personal problems.
“There were external challenges that I had no control over that affected my state of mind.
“My children upset me – because as the old saying goes, ‘Little children, little problems.’ Big kids, big problems’.
“The job caused me anxiety because when you are the only breadwinner, pressure is inevitable.
“I also had a sick, dying dog to take care of. And to top it all off, I found myself on the receiving end of some unresolved, albeit unrelated, health issues. I was in a constant state of fear and anxiety. Every time I thought I could solve one problem, another would pop up. It was an endless, cruel and sinister game of Whac-A-Mole.
“The solution, of course, was to have a drink, dumbass.”
But Ulrika has now found peace – and the respect of her children.
My life changed dramatically. I have found inner peace, despite the fact that life continues to throw me terrible curves
Ulrika Jonsson
She said: “My life has changed dramatically. I have found inner peace, despite the fact that life continues to throw me terrible curves. I get to know myself in a completely different way. My children have been incredibly supportive and are very proud of me.
“And I feel proud of myself. I feel no shame anymore. My anxiety has diminished beyond recognition.
“I’ve suffered the loss of one of my dogs and still haven’t turned to drink. Over the past months, I’ve dealt with other traumas — and stayed sober.
“Primarily because one of the most important things I’ve learned is that drinking isn’t going to fix a situation.
“For today it’s one day at a time. I don’t take my sobriety for granted because it’s a journey, not a destination.”
A break is an incentive
SOBER October began as a fundraiser for Macmillan Cancer Support.
The idea is to commit to giving up your favorite drinks for 31 days and get your nearest and dearest to sponsor you for your sacrifice.
The annual challenge has raised more than £500,000 for the charity to date, with almost 30,000 people signing up to take part.
Giving up a month is also great for your health.
It can improve sleep quality, memory, boost immune function, reduce the risk of diseases like cancer, heart disease and obesity, and help you lose weight while increasing your energy levels.
What’s more, you’ll probably save some money too! For more information visit gosober.org.uk
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