DEAR DEIDRE: People see me as a pillar of the community, but I can’t control my wandering gaze.
I keep making crazy decisions and cheating on my wife. I don’t know what’s wrong with me and I want to change before I destroy my marriage and my reputation.
I am 46 years old, and my wife is 45 years old. We have three children.
We’ve been together since college. She is my soul mate and I don’t know what I would do without her.
I am a very successful business manager and judge. People in my town look up to me.
What they don’t know is that I had several affairs.
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The first happened when my oldest son was a baby. It was with a woman I met at a conference, who was nothing compared to my wife.
I still don’t understand why I stayed with her for months.
My wife was devastated when she found out and I begged her forgiveness. I behaved for several years, but I had two more affairs, one short and the other lasting several years.
She doesn’t know about them. The second one ended in 2020.
Now that my children have left home, I feel the ‘itch’ again.
I’ve noticed a young woman working at my local coffee shop and I keep flirting with her. She is much too young for me and we have nothing in common.
This should be a happy time for me and my wife. We are comfortable, we have a nice home and many friends.
Why do I keep doing this? And how do I stop?
DEIDRE SAYS: Something – probably a childhood experience – makes you want to self-sabotage and risk your happiness.
You may feel that you don’t deserve your wife or your career.
It’s like you can’t accept that you’re successful and loved and need to destroy your life.
You can change, but only if you take control of your actions and seek professional help.
A counselor could help you work on the root of your problems and teach you how to avoid making the same mistakes.
See my support package on counseling for more information on this.
It would also be a good idea to talk to your wife honestly about your problems, even if you don’t confess to her about affairs that she doesn’t know about. Make it clear that you love her and ask for her support when you get help.
Categories: Optical Illusion
Source: HIS Education