WATCHING footage of TV presenter Laura Hamilton (42) enjoying steamy sex with her married man, I felt a rush of adrenaline.
I didn’t stop to think about James Pettigrew’s estranged wife who was supposedly ‘blindsided’ by the relationship, instead, I imagined how she must be enjoying a flurry of sex with the man she was divorcing.
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A woman has revealed how much it turns her on to sleep with married men
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Laura Hamilton pictured with James Pettigrew, who is estranged from his wifeCredit: Facebook
I am a woman who has slept with more than 20 married men and I absorb the pent-up passion that men have in stale relationships.
Illicit sex is exciting, and to maintain that feeling I always have at least one married lover on the go.
At 56, I never expected my romantic life to turn out like this, but it has evolved into something so satisfying.
I initially started having sex with married men after my husband Patrick cheated on me with a co-worker.
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I wanted to understand why he did it and after talking to married men like him who cheat, I now have my answer. He set our marriage on the path of destruction because he mistook their professional relationship for true love.
In my early 20’s I played the field, but by 27 I had met and fallen in love with Patrick, whom I had met at work by chance.
We got married when I was 29 years old, and by the time I was 32 we had two children – they are now 26 and 24 years old.
I thought our marriage was strong and was completely blindsided 12 years later when Patrick admitted he had a six week affair with a colleague.
It ended when he couldn’t take the guilt anymore and admitted what he had done.
He promised that he didn’t love her and that he was still in love with me.
I’ve had exclusive dates with married men and some are downright bizarre – one brought his wife with him… the other’s weird request for sex left me stunned
We still had a good sex life, making love at least once a week.
I felt sick from the betrayal, it was sickening to imagine them together, but I tortured myself by asking him endless questions.
He could never properly explain why he did what he had.
My knee-jerk reaction was to end the marriage, but after long talks we agreed to stay together.
Four red flags that your partner is cheating on you
Private investigator Aaron Bond of BondRees has revealed four warning signs that your partner may be cheating on you
They start carrying their phone with them everywhere
In close relationships it is normal to know each other’s passwords and use each other’s phone, if their phone habits change then they might be hiding something.
Aaron says, “If your partner starts changing their passwords, starts taking their phone with them everywhere, even around the house, or becomes defensive when you ask to use their phone, it could be a sign that they’re not being faithful.”
“You should also look at how they put their phone down when they’re not using it. If they’re facing the phone with the screen down, they might be hiding something.”
They start telling you less about their day
When partners cheat on you, they may start to avoid you, either because they feel guilty or because it’s easier for them to lie to you.
“If you feel like your partner has suddenly started avoiding you and doesn’t want to do things with you anymore or stops talking to you about their day, that’s another red flag.”
“Partners often avoid their spouses or tell them less about their day because cheating can be difficult, it’s impossible to remember all your lies and it’s an easy way to get caught,” says Aaron.
Their libido changes
Your partner’s libido can change for a number of reasons, so it may not be a sure sign of cheating, but it can be a warning sign, according to Aaron.
Aaron says: “Cheaters often have less sex at home because they are cheating, but occasionally they may have more sex at home, this is because they feel guilty and use this increase in sex to hide their cheating. You may also find that your partner will start introducing new things to your sex life that weren’t there before.”
They become negative towards you
Cheaters know that cheating is wrong and they will feel good about it, it can cause tension and anxiety in themselves that they will have to justify.
“In order to get rid of the tension they feel inside, they will try to convince themselves that you are the problem and out of nowhere they will become critical of you. Maybe you didn’t walk the dog, do the dishes or read the book to your children before bed that day. A small problem like this now it can seem like a big deal and if you experience it, your partner could be cheating on you,” warns Aaron.
I think the fact that he confessed made it easier to try to trust him again and he was very open to counseling.
But even though we were seemingly back to ‘normal’ after about six months, I certainly couldn’t forget it.
One evening, spurred on by a few wines, I signed up to a married dating site because I wanted to talk to other men to understand their motivations for cheating.
That would clarify what was going on in Patrick’s head.
Illicit sex is exciting, and to maintain that feeling I always have at least one married lover on the go.
Elizabeth
Is his claim that men who have sex with other women and still love their wives really valid?
Looking back, a small part of me was looking for a revenge affair and inevitably that’s exactly what happened.
I spoke to a man named Simon, 49, who owned his own printing press.
After two weeks we met for a drink in a fancy bar in central London and not only did I feel an emotional connection, but he was also extremely attractive physically.
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Elizabeth explained that she has slept with 20 married men so far. Credit: Getty
We talked and he explained that he cheated because he couldn’t get the sex he wanted at home – his wife was very non-adventurous and it was pleasurable, not sexual.
Those reasons didn’t ring true for me and Patrick, our sex life was still great when he cheated, but soon it didn’t matter.
At the end of the night we kissed like teenagers, and the next week, after I told Patrick I was going out with girls, I had sex with Simon in the hotel.
The biggest surprise? I didn’t feel guilty – I felt elated.
I continued seeing Simon for three months, but then stopped, worried that I had become too attached.
I didn’t feel guilty – I felt exhilarated… When I met a new lover, I felt powerful and I gradually realized that I enjoyed the revenge of turning the tables
Elizabeth
But I missed the excitement of a new man, feeling so wanted and that excitement in my life was intoxicating.
And that’s how I found a new lover – it’s incredibly easy on those sites, they’re full of attractive, intelligent and rich men.
Within a few weeks, I moved on again and asked every man I met why he was cheating.
The answers were quite similar – their wife became more like a roommate and they missed feeling attractive, or felt left out by the children.
One man I met said he only did it “because I can.”
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Elizabeth says she refuses to fall in love with her lovers and has no plans to destroy any marriage Credit: Getty
I think some really genuinely loved their wives and I was never found out.
A man took me to the theater and we enjoyed sex in a private box.
Another had an affair 10 years ago and, although he loved his ex, he could never imagine leaving his wife for her – he wanted to have his cake and eat it too.
When I met a new lover, I felt powerful and gradually realized that I enjoyed the revenge of turning the tables.
I’m not proud of it.
Although I had no intention of telling Patrick, our marriage was suffering.
A man took me to the theater and we enjoyed sex in a private box
Elizabeth
I admit that I channeled my energy into children, work and lovers, in that order.
He had little left and he became less attractive to me, being with him was everyday and boring.
Little did he know that he was competing with the excitement of new lovers, which made me feel guilty.
After two years and five lovers, I ended our marriage, although I never admitted the real reason, to my shame I told him that I could not get over his infidelity.
Although he would lead us to the path of destruction – I admit that I contributed much more.
On the surface, I choose these men because it’s about excitement and passion, but deep down, it’s also a form of self-defense.
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The mum-of-two used an online dating site for married people Credit: Getty
Patrick hurt me so much by cheating that I never wanted to feel that vulnerable again.
Now, I can’t hurt because I don’t want these people to leave their wives.
My first lover after the divorce finally gave me an answer as to why Patrick came to cheat, but he did not comfort me.
He said it’s natural to feel a connection with someone you work with.
Suddenly you have the same goals and objectives, it becomes all encompassing and can easily be replaced with more.
And then when it’s over, you come back down to earth and see that it wasn’t ‘real’, which leads to recognition.
I have never fallen in love with my married men – I know that men rarely leave their wives
Elizabeth
I have never fallen in love with my married men – I know that men rarely leave their wives.
I don’t want to be domesticated either, I like to live alone and I enjoy my own space to relax after work or hang out on weekends.
I don’t get lonely either, I have a very active social life and see my children and other family members regularly.
Married men enjoy my desire to be independent and are grateful and considerate lovers because they value me.
On average each lasts six months, although I’ve been with one for five years, but we only see each other every few months because of the distance.
We go out to dinner and then we make love.
After two years and five lovers, I ended our marriage, although I never admitted the real reason
Elizabeth
I discovered that I like adventurous sex, experimenting in parks and very light BDSM.
I am now on my 20th wedding and my current lover is Chris – he works in finance and has been married for 30 years.
He’s never mentioned his wife in the four months we’ve been seeing each other – he made it clear before we met that it wasn’t a discussion he was ready to have and I’m okay with that.
Sometimes I feel guilty about women, I know how broken I felt when Patrick admitted his affair.
But men will always find a reason and a way to cheat if they are inclined to do so.
If it wasn’t me, it would be someone else, and in my defense, I’m not interested in destroying marriages.
Additional reporting by Claire Dunwell
- Some names have been changed.
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She explained that she is happier than ever experimenting with men while maintaining her independenceCredit: Getty
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