JEREMY CLARKSON had a secret health scare – he checked out of a luxury wellness resort to have a cyst removed from his back.
The Sun Star columnist was so miserable during his time at the spa, along with girlfriend Lisa Hogan, that he decided to postpone his surgery by a week.
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Jeremy Clarkson had a secret health scare – he checked out of a luxury wellness resort to have a cyst removed from his back Credit: ITV
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Jeremy with girlfriend Lisa Hogan Credit: Getty
Ahead of ITV’s new series of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?, the now in-form host has it all clear.
Jeremy, 63, said: “I had a 5cm cyst, which is no longer a cyst.
“Lisa took me to the health farm and, well, it was so miserable there that I thought, ‘I’ve got to get this cyst out, I might as well leave now’.
“So I checked myself out of the whole place and checked into the hospital, because it was more fun going into surgery than eating juniper berries all day.
“As I lay under the surgical knife, I thought ‘this is better.’
“I actually lost a stone though – mind you, half of it was probably cystic. But it wasn’t cancer. It was never going to be cancerous though – I wasn’t in the mood.”
The popular presenter underwent surgery in October, and a cyst the size of almost a tennis ball was removed under general anesthesia.
According to Dr. Google, cysts are sacs filled with air or fluid and can form anywhere in the body, including bones, organs, and soft tissues.
Most are benign, but spinal usually develops in patients over the age of 50, often as a result of general wear and tear.
Kumbaya festival
During last year’s “miserable” stay at the health farm, Jeremy was given nothing to eat – vegetable juice. Alas, coffee and alcohol were also banned.
Writing about the experience in his Sunday Times column, Jeremy — who says he goes for “an annual health check where they tell me I don’t have cancer and then I leave again” — details: “I was given a glass of something called wheatgrass.
“Now, I’ve eaten grasshoppers and tarantulas, and once I had a seven-day-old egg that had a little beak and an eye in it. All of those things were pretty awful.
“But nothing—nothing—is even close to the awfulness of wheatgrass puking in the gut
“The day progressed and soon I wanted a drink. And then I wanted lunch. So I went to the common dining room – the worst three words in the English language – and got a glass of celebrity juice. Which wasn’t a drink. Or lunch.
“I lost everything. I’d rather spend a week with Greta Thunberg at a kumbaya festival.”
The star, who once suggested the secret to a healthy life is a long lunch, may not be known for her gazelle-like athleticism, but now she’s got something like health.
When we speak – he in the Caribbean, me in my less sunny spare room-and-makeshift-office – he’s in the middle of dry January. A dry February follows.
Does it make him feel better?
“No, I’m exhausted all the time, and the worst part is that I just can’t sleep. And then when I nod, I have funny nightmares,” he puffs.
This includes, he reveals, one where he dined with former Newcastle football star Joey Barton.
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Jezza flexes his muscles in the gym while drinking a glass of wine Credit: Eroteme
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The Sun columnist shows off his fitness regime with a can of beer in handCredit: Eroteme
“I thought, ‘I don’t even know who Joey Barton is. I don’t know what he looks like’. And yet somehow I was at dinner with him.”
Fortunately, Jeremy recently started producing his own non-alcoholic lager, Hawkstone Spa — his version of a wellness drink.
Which is useful given his grueling 16-hour days at his Diddly Squat Farm in Oxfordshire.
Yes, undoubtedly, Clarkson has been reinvented as Britain’s most famous farmer.
To keep in shape, he also has two labrador foxhounds, Sansa and Arya, who don’t want to walk alone.
However, we’re not here today to discuss his health, his farm chores or his other former big Top Gear job. (Though more on that later.)
Lisa took me to the health farm and, well, it was so miserable at the health farm that I thought, well, I’m going to have to get this cyst out one day, I might as well leave now.
Jeremy Clarkson
Not. We’re here today to promote the new series of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?, his ninth since taking over from former host Chris Tarrant in 2018.
Jeremy is a man who knows a lot about a lot of things.
There are very few topics he can’t be a crash about, and his encyclopedic knowledge of everything from cars to cows makes him the ultimate frontman for this coveted ITV gig.
A relatively new feature, Ask the Host, allows contestants to turn to Jeremy for help with a question. He’s usually pretty good, unless the subject is Greek mythology (“I’m hopeless at that”).
“It’s a damn smart play. He’s so smart and I honestly love him,” she says with a smile, obligingly blinking on and off the fuzzy wifi on Zoom.
“We have a few gamblers in this series, which always makes things exciting.
“What makes this show so amazing is that the contestants are playing for such huge amounts of money.
“I mean, £8,000 is such a huge amount. People get their knickers on Pointless for £700, you know, so £8,000, that’s a huge, huge amount of money, and then you’re asking them to gamble it away to get £16,000.
“Is she dead?”
“It’s easy to forget how big the increases are and the £1m prize pool is absolutely huge.”
For that huge sum, Jeremy reckons it would be hard for him to even remember his own name.
So how would Kaleb Cooper, his trusty farm assistant and fellow Clarkson farm worker, fare?
Jeremy says: “If the questions were about cows, he would have gone very far, but anything else he would have been completely useless.
“I mean, he hasn’t heard of Robert De Niro, so I don’t think you can go very far with that basic level of general knowledge. But cows? Sheep and wheat? That. Brilliant.”
On the subject of cows, I inquire about the welfare of another unexpected star of Amazon Prime’s hit farm series, Pepper — a heifer with whom Jeremy has developed a touching bond.
I soon wish I hadn’t.
“You’ll find out in the next series,” he says ominously.
“Oh God, is she dead?”
“Well, you’ll find out in the next series.”
WITH***. Let’s move on.
Sandi Toksvig recently bemoaned the lack of female quiz presenters, with the current ITV and BBC Saturday night schedules featuring ten men and exactly zero women.
Jeremy seems as confused as everyone else as to why this is the case in 2024.
“That’s a very good question – I don’t know why there aren’t more of them,” he muses
Then, after a pause, he adds: “Everybody’s too busy commentating on football games, I guess.”
Touché.
“No, I have no idea why. There’s no earthly reason why there aren’t more – there should be.”
Much has been written about another all-male show, Top Gear, following co-host Freddie Flintoff’s horror hit in December 2022.
Now I ate grasshoppers and tarantulas, and once I had an egg seven days old, which had a little beak and an eye in it. All of those things were pretty awful. But nothing, nothing, comes close to the awfulness of wheatgrass puking in the gut.
Jeremy Clarkson
The 46-year-old former cricketer was left with facial injuries and broken ribs when the three-wheel open Morgan Super 3 he was driving overturned during filming at Dunsfold Park Airfield in Surrey.
The BBC has now decided to “take a break” from the show – presumably in a last-ditch effort to rectify poor health and safety measures.
But Jeremy, who fronted Top Gear for 13 years before leaving in 2015 after “falling out” with a producer, believes the program will one day return to screens – just not with him behind the wheel.
Has he been in contact with Freddie? Jeremy replies: “I sent him a message wishing him a speedy recovery.
“I never really met him, I don’t think I did. He didn’t answer, but at that stage I believe he didn’t answer to anyone.”
Jeremy is, of course, a huge car fan. (Though, these days, tractors are his current vehicle du jour.)
He owned a veritable fleet of high-octane sports cars in his day and is forever testing petrol behemoths for his column.
So how many points does he have on his license? (I write this as someone who has traveled, at not inconsiderable speed, with him in one vehicle).
“Nothing!” he exclaims smugly. “I really don’t. I’m quite old now and I tend to ramble on about more things.
“People actually started overtaking me on the roads, which is really horrible.
“Someone passed me the other day — I think it was a hearse. I don’t really drive fast anymore.
“But I was ashamed of myself, thinking, ‘God, I just got in someone’s way, driving someone onto the wrong side of the road by driving slow and being unsociable’.”
- New series Who wants to be a millionaire? starts on Sunday at 8pm on ITV1.
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Clarkson has been reinvented as Britain’s most famous farmerCredit: Arthur Edwards / The Sun
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He works 16 hours a day on his farm Diddly Squat in Oxfordshire Credit: Amazon Prime
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