Kerry Washington doesn’t hold back.
During it 20/20 especially on Sunday, Scandal star, 46, opened up to Robin Roberts about her life, family secrets and her own painful battle with an eating disorder ahead of the release of her memoir, Thicker than watercomes out on Tuesday.
One of the more shocking revelations involved childhood trauma, which involved a boy she claimed repeatedly touched her while she was in bed while sleeping. This alleged misconduct occurred without her knowledge. However, when she discovered what had happened, she made the decision to cover up the violation since, as her book states, he “was not built to withstand the pain of facing the consequences of his actions.”
“These were, like, the hardest days of writing. But it felt like the point was to remind ourselves and each other that we’re not alone,” she explained to Roberts. “That little girl chose not to tell anyone. I have a great deal of sympathy for where the choice came from and even a little admiration for that little girl, but I also adore her and feel so sad that she carried the burden of this alone for so long. And so , I wanted to decide to tell the truth that she couldn’t.”
Kerry Washington attends SAG-AFTRA Foundation Conversations “Unprisoned” with Kerry Washington and Delroy Lindo at the SAG-AFTRA Foundation Screening Room on April 16, 2023.
Amanda Edwards/Getty
Elsewhere in the special, Washington recalled finding out her father, Earl Washington, was not her biological father after she told her parents she planned to appear on The Henry Louis Gates Jr. Show. Searching for your rootsseries where celebrities can find information about their ancestors through DNA testing.
The actress said that her parents omitted the information in order to keep quiet about their fertility problems.
Now, Washington is “in the process of trying” to find her donor — and her father is ultimately “supportive.”
“I think he’s open and curious and you know, maybe he’s not enthusiastic, but he’s accepting and supportive,” she added.
Kerry Washington is preparing to publish a new memoir: ‘I hope readers will receive it with open hearts’
The Emmy winner also detailed the depth of her eating disorder — a segment that was teased earlier this week on Good morning America. She revealed how she contemplated suicide at the height of her disorder and was “trying to destroy myself”.
Washington read an excerpt from her new memoir and shared that by the time she left for college, her relationship with food and her body had “become a vicious cycle of self-abuse that uses the tools of starvation, overeating, body obsession and compulsive exercise. ”
“I could feel the abuse was a way to really hurt myself, like I didn’t want to be here,” she said. “It scared me that I couldn’t want to be here because I was in so much pain.”
When asked if she was considering suicide, Washington replied: “Yes. Yes… The behavior was a tiny little act of trying to destroy myself.”
Washington went on to say that while she’s in a much better place now with her eating disorder, she still has to “check herself.”
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Kerry Washington attends Variety’s TV FYC Fest on June 7, 2023.
(Alberto Rodriguez/Variety via Getty Images)
Kerry Washington Says She Thought About Suicide Over ‘Toxic’ Eating Disorder: ‘It Scared Me’
“I wouldn’t say I never behave with food, it’s just very different now,” she said. “It’s not extreme. No suicidal thoughts, I’m not here anymore. But I know, ‘Oh, I’m really into this chocolate, this is good information for me.’ The bottom has become much higher and just a little discomfort is enough for me to know that this is a way to check myself. But it definitely looks a lot healthier. It’s much easier. It’s a lot more reasonable than it used to be.”
While Small fires everywhere star, usually fiercely secretive about her private life, said sharing her story is now “with a purpose”. “I never wanted to share my private life for fame or attention,” she pointed out.
In January, Washington opened up to PEOPLE as she told her story for the first time, saying, “Writing a memoir is by far the most personal project I’ve ever taken on. I hope readers will receive it with open hearts, and I pray it offers new insights and perspectives, and call people to a deeper compassion – for themselves and for others.”
Kerry Washington Says She Thought About Suicide Over ‘Toxic’ Eating Disorder: ‘It Scared Me’
According to a press release, Washington’s memoir will give readers “an intimate look into her public and private worlds—as an artist, advocate, entrepreneur, mother, daughter, wife, black woman.”
Thinking about my life, Unclosed the star will reveal for the first time how she “faced a series of challenges and setbacks, effectively hid childhood trauma, met extraordinary mentors, managed to advance in her career and crossed the threshold of stardom and political advocacy, ultimately discovering herself and, with it, a deeper sense of belonging.”
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Thicker than water the book will hit the shelves on Tuesday.
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Source: HIS Education