WHEN wedding guest Ryan Livesey wet the bed at first sight, he blamed it on too much beer.
But the 29-year-old was “immediately numb” when he finally addressed the health problems he had ignored for seven months and was diagnosed with cancer.
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Ryan joined MAFS as the newest groom on Tuesday (October 8) Credit: Eroteme
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Married At First Sight’s Ryan Livesey Reveals First Symptoms of Cancer Diagnosed at 22 Credits: Submitted
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The now 29-year-old, who has a six-year-old son, says men need to be more proactive about their healthCredit: Submitted
Aged just 22 at the time and with a baby on the way with his ex-partner, Ryan was terrified he wouldn’t see his son grow up or even be born.
“I started wetting the bed, it was really embarrassing but I put it down to having too much to drink and of course I didn’t tell anyone and I hid it,” says Ryan.
“I would go to the toilet and I didn’t feel like I was emptying my bladder properly.
“I would have to go again 20 minutes later because I couldn’t take it.
“Looking back now, I should have known something was wrong, but because the increase in frequency happened gradually, I was able to ignore it.
“If I had gone to the doctors when I first felt the symptoms in 2016, things could have been different.
“Any guy reading this will know that there are posters in public toilets with health messages, but we tend to ignore them.”
Ryan, now in remission, urges men to pay attention to their health and believes most men put it off out of shame or pride.
But dropping his pants saved his life – and now he’s hoping to find a long marriage on screen.
The semi-professional footballer and TV bride Sionainn were the latest couple to enter the latest series of Channel 4 UK’s MAFS in scenes broadcast last night.
An awkward moment, the new MAFS bride goes cold at the altar and threatens to ‘run away’
Ryan’s first symptoms
Ryan first noticed blood in his urine after a night out with friends in the spring of 2017 — after already having bed-wetting since late 2016.
“It was April,” Ryan recalls. “I know because it was the night of the Anthony Joshua/Wladimir Klitschko fight.
“I was having a beer with some friends and when I went to the toilet towards the end of the night, I had a little blood in my urine.
“It wasn’t much, maybe a bottle full to the top, so I put it down to having too much to drink and trying not to think too much about it.”
While telling his aunt who he was close to, Ryan tried to ignore his growing symptoms, refusing his aunt’s advice to see a GP.
He says: “I don’t know what I was thinking, but I knew I didn’t want to go to the doctor.
“I guess part of it made me feel embarrassed about it, but unfortunately, it didn’t go away.”
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Ryan had symptoms such as bedwetting, which he attributed to drinking too much. Credits: Submitted
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Ryan finally saw GPCredit: Delivered when he urinated pure blood
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MAFS star says his cancer made dating difficult Credit: Eroteme
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He married makeup artist Sionainn in the latest series of Channel 4’s MAFS UK Credit: Eroteme
It was sometime in May 2017 that his symptoms reached a critical point after soccer practice one night.
“I peed almost pure blood,” Ryan admits.
“I was 22 years old, my ex-partner was pregnant with my son, who was due to be born in November of that year. I was about to become a father, and I had pure blood.
“Yes, I knew something was wrong, but I didn’t think for a second that it was serious. I thought the worst case scenario would be a kidney stone or something.”
‘senile disease’
After reluctantly making an appointment with his GP in June 2017, Ryan was diagnosed with stage two bladder cancer.
He became one of 10,500 people in the UK every year – and 29 a day – to receive the devastating news.
“I was in complete shock,” admits Ryan.
“Don’t die of shyness,” said the late, great lady Deborah James
By Lizzie Parry, Head of Health at The Sun
WE ARE ALL guilty of ignoring our bodies from time to time. I know I am!
Whether it’s the absolute dread of waiting on the phone in the 8am rush hour for a GP appointment, or sheer rejection, it’s undoubtedly easier to just turn a blind eye.
For many of us, however, it’s the embarrassment that prevents us from seeking help.
When it comes to symptoms affecting bowel habits, ‘down there’, or anything even remotely taboo, it’s common to just feel ashamed to say anything.
The harsh reality is that your embarrassment could prove fatal.
I’ve been a health journalist for many, many years and I can’t count the number of times I’ve reported on the heartbreaking stories of people who left their ’embarrassing symptoms’ too late.
This can be an urge to urinate more, a change in pooping habits, blood in the poop, or as in Ryan’s case, bedwetting.
As the late grand dame Deborah James said countless times in her Sun column, The things cancer made me say‘don’t die because you’re shy!’.
I was lucky enough to call Dame Debs a friend and edited her column for over five and a half years.
The fearless activist has never stopped reminding readers and her Instagram followers that early diagnosis can indeed save lives.
The earlier the cancer is detected, the better the chances of being cured and surviving.
Like Debs, Ryan is brave enough to speak out about what he went through and it will no doubt help other men in a similar situation.
Whether it’s checking your breasts for signs of breast cancer, your eggs for signs of testicular cancer, there are checks we can all do every month to keep an eye on our health.
The key is simply to be aware of your body and what is ‘normal’ for you.
Getting to know that ‘normal’ will help you detect any changes, hopefully as soon as possible.
As for talking to your GP about any symptoms, especially the ones you’re embarrassed about, remember this, they’ve heard it before.
After more than 15 years as a health journalist, very few things surprise or embarrass me now, so imagine what it’s like for medics who see patients day in and day out.
Any GP or doctor I know would tell you that you’d rather tick off something you’re worried about and see it end up being nothing to worry about than face a late cancer diagnosis with little hope of treatment.
So in the words of Dame Debs… ‘don’t die of shyness’! Speak up and if you think your GP or doctor is not listening, get a second opinion.
“It’s not something you expect when you’re young, you think it’s going to affect older people, that it’s an old man’s disease.
“I remember my doctor saying the word cancer and I immediately felt numb.
“It was as if the world closed around me. All I could think about was my son who was due in five months.
“I had symptoms for seven months and it took me that long to see a doctor.”
Ryan was told he would need surgery to remove the cancer and scrape the lining of his bladder.
All I could think about was the fact that I was so excited to be a dad and yet I didn’t take my health seriously.
Ryan
He will also need chemotherapy for a week.
During treatment for one of three relapses that occurred over the next 18 months, the enormous toll of the diagnosis came crashing down on him.
He says: “Leo was born on November 11 and it was the best day of my life.
“Even with everything else about the treatment, I was so happy. But then the thoughts of not being with him started to make me feel very depressed.
“I felt anxious, depressed – all I could think about was the fact that I was so excited to be a dad and yet I didn’t take my health seriously.”
While Ryan now gets checked every year to make sure the cancer hasn’t returned, he admits: “I worry a lot about it.
“Leo is now six years old, I want to be here and watch him grow up, I want to be an active dad.
“Leo was part of the reason I went for the scan – despite the fact that he wasn’t even born yet. In a way, he helped save my life.”
The new groom says he wishes he had gone to the GP sooner, warning others: “The thing is, it really can be life or death so men, especially young men, need to take more care of their health.
“If I had read a story like this when I had my own symptoms, I think I would have called a doctor sooner.
“When you’re young, you think you’ll last forever. You think cancer is something that affects other people, but men need to take better care of themselves.”
Signs of bladder cancer you should know
There are around 10,500 new cases of bladder cancer in the UK each year, according to Cancer Research.
That’s 29 every day, making it the 11th most common form of cancer in the UK.
Smoking is the single biggest risk factor for bladder cancer, causing 45 per cent of cases in the UK.
But exposure to other chemicals, including industrial ones, is also known to be a cause. Sometimes the cause of bladder cancer is unknown.
About six in 10 cases are in people aged 75 or older, with the risk rising sharply after age 50.
Signs of bladder cancer
- Blood in the urine: This is the most common sign. It may not be obvious and may come and go. It may look like traces of blood or brown urine.
- The need to urinate more
- Burning sensation when urinating
- Pelvic pain
- Bone pain
- Unintentional weight loss
- Swelling of the legs
Categories: Optical Illusion
Source: HIS Education