Morgan Wade Is ‘Still Processing’ Her Body After Double Mastectomy — But Knows It Was ‘So Worth It’ (Exclusive)

It’s been just over three weeks since country singer Morgan Wade underwent a preventative double mastectomy.

“Finally I can pull on a hoodie!” she tells PEOPLE. “That’s nice because they were button-down shirts and anything that could be buttoned up at a moment’s notice.”

Wade, 29, also had to deal with forced downtime after surgery, which she admits wasn’t easy for someone so active and physically fit. But she knows it’s worth it: undergoing the procedure means she can live the rest of her life knowing there’s no risk of breast cancer, which runs in her family.

The “Psychopath” singer says she lost both her grandmother and great-aunt to pancreatic cancer, and had an aunt who was diagnosed with breast cancer in her 30s. After a relative tested positive for the RAD51D gene mutation, which puts carriers at a 20 to 40 percent lifetime risk of breast cancer, according to the advocacy group Facing Our Risk of Cancer Empowered, Wade’s mom Robin encouraged the star to get tested.

Wade was positive, and soon after decided to proceed with the removal of her breasts. On November 18, she underwent a four-hour surgical procedure, which included not only a double mastectomy, but also reconstructive surgery.

“I’d rather do all this and never know if I’m going to get breast cancer or not,” she says. “I’d rather do this and have that peace. Life is short, life is precious, and I’m thankful for the advancement of science that we have the knowledge to go and take care of these things.”

Morgan Wade and her mom Robin. Morgan Wade reflects on tip-top moment that led to sobriety: ‘I didn’t think I was going to make it’ (Exclusive)

Although Wade says she knew exactly what she was getting herself into, she started to get more and more nervous as the surgery date approached.

“I haven’t really processed it. But the night before, I started getting a little anxious about it, and I said, ‘I don’t know if I want to do this,'” she recalls. “I knew I had to do it, but there’s always that little fear in the background.”

The singer says she relied on her mom, who had already undergone the same surgery, to help ease her worries. She also woke up at 3 a.m. to drink a cup of black coffee and exercise one last time before going to the surgery center.

Kyle Richards poses with Morgan Wade’s mom Robin, members of the Mission Plasticos team and a film crew from the documentary he is producing about Wade’s mastectomy journey. Kyle Richards says friendship with Morgan Wade is ‘very different’ to other friends: ‘She teases me all the time’

He was a close friend and The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Kyle Richards who helped launch the operation, as she connected the singer with Mission Plasticos, a nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free reconstructive surgical care to the uninsured or underinsured. Through Mission Plasticos, she found Dr. Heather MacDonald, who performed the mastectomy, and Dr. Karen Leong, who placed the implants right after reconstructive surgery.

Richards, 54, became involved with the organization several years ago after losing her mother Kathleen to breast cancer in 2002.

“I’ve been involved with Mission Plasticos for years and really admire the work they do for women across the country,” says Richards. “Breast cancer has affected my family and I understand how difficult it can be to navigate the healthcare system, the procedures it can involve, the emotional and physical toll it can have. When Morgan told me what she was dealing with in terms of her health, I knew Mission Plasticos would be an amazing resource.”

Susan Williamson, the nonprofit’s executive director, says an operation like Wade’s could cost an average of about $100,000 without financial assistance.

Morgan Wade after surgery.

“None of these things are available, and it’s weird, and I don’t understand it, and it should be,” Williamson says. “The mastectomy that Morgan had was preventive. Now he won’t get cancer, and it won’t cost the insurance company hundreds of thousands of dollars for cancer treatment, surgeries, chemotherapy and radiation.”

Wade left the hospital the same day she was diagnosed. She says the drainage tubes attached to her body afterwards were the “absolute worst” part, but that in her worst moments she thought about her aunt, who went through the same surgery while also dealing with chemotherapy and radiation.

Morgan Wade with Kyle Richards and her mom Robin. Morgan Wade Says Upcoming Double Mastectomy Will Bring Her ‘Peace’ (Exclusive)

And although she’s overcome the worst of the pain, she’s still adjusting to her new look, which currently doesn’t include nipples (she has the option of getting 3D nipples or tattooing nipples onto her implants if she chooses).

“Everything is gone. That was probably the weirdest part for me. I didn’t think I would care, but then when you go and look in the mirror, there was a lot to take in,” she says. “I’m still considering how different my body looks in that regard. As hard as it is for me to look in the mirror now… [the scars will] get well and you’ll be fine. If you had asked me the day after I did this, I would have said, ‘Fuck you all. Why the hell did I do this?’ But now it has helped me see things in a different way.”

Morgan Wade.

While she was recovering, Wade was watching everything Schitt’s Creekas well as the Netflix series Twin Flames Escape and Max’s Love has won: Cult of the Mother of God. She continued to write music during what she says was a period of self-reflection, and has finished recording what will be her third album, which she plans to release next year (Her second, Psychopathreleased in August).

She has come to terms with her decision and remains committed to spreading the word and breaking the stigma around mastectomy.

“For a while, the word mastectomy seemed creepy or weird. It’s not something you want to talk about like, ‘I have to go get a mastectomy,’” she says. “We need to talk more about these things. The pain is really temporary. It is so worth it to take control of your health.”

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Source: HIS Education