DEAR DEIDRE: I am heartbroken that my husband is fighting with my best friend. Why would the people I love the most betray me?
The worst thing is that they won’t even admit it, and they keep insisting that it’s all a big misunderstanding.
I am 39 years old, my husband is 42 years old and we have been married for eight years.
My best friend is 40 years old and we’ve been friends for as long as I can remember.
Recently, I suspected that something was wrong with my husband. He became distant and his energy seemed to completely change.
I naively assumed it was due to stress at work. No part of me believed he would consider cheating, especially not with my best friend.
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Then one day our mutual friend texted me asking to meet up.
I didn’t think about it until she told me over coffee that she saw the two of them “kissing over each other” at the bar. I was amazed.
When I confronted them, they denied it and even went so far as to suggest that she made it all up.
Wanting to get to the bottom of the matter, I suggested that the four of us meet and talk about this, but they both declined, saying they didn’t want to waste their time talking to a liar.
If they are truly innocent, why should it be such a problem?
DEIDRE SAYS: You betrayed and it’s devastating. It is normal to have feelings of sadness and anger, especially if they refuse to admit that they have done something wrong.
While it’s hard not to jump to conclusions, try to think about why the other person is telling you this information. Is it possible that she is lying?
If the answer is no, and you really believe her, then you need to talk openly and honestly with your husband.
Explain to him how hurt you are and that you cannot move forward if he is not honest with you about this.
Unless he is willing to admit what he did wrong or provide an explanation, it will be impossible to rebuild trust, and without trust no relationship can work.
My support package Cheating, can you get over it? it will help. A couples counselor can also help. See tavistockrelationships.org (020 7380 1960).
Categories: Optical Illusion
Source: HIS Education