DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER a three-year relationship, I thought I really knew my husband, but a disturbing revelation made me question everything.
It has one flaw I’ve never even heard of before – mummification.
Although it’s not as bad as it sounds, it’s still very uncomfortable for me and I haven’t been able to please him so far.
I can see that he is trying to show understanding, but I know that my hesitation is the problem.
I am 29 and he is 31 years old.
Trying to dissuade me, he explained: ‘It’s just a place where one person wraps themselves up so they can’t move and become a game for another’.
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He says it’s not about hurting me, but about surrender, restraint and the most incredible release.
He wants to wrap me from head to toe in bandages so I can’t move. I would become the ‘ultimate sex toy’.
But the idea terrifies me and makes me feel claustrophobic.
We indulged in light bonding and a bit of blindfolding, but he always asks for more.
I can see he’s not happy and I think he’s starting to get frustrated. While he keeps coming back to this.
I’ve tried suggesting other sexual adventures, but I can tell mummification is the only thing he really wants.
I just wish I had known about his kink before we got married.
Is there any way to satisfy him without satisfying him this way, or even get him to change his sexual preferences?
I’m worried that if we don’t work it out, he’ll cheat on us to satisfy his own needs, or that we’ll all have to go our separate ways.
DEIDRE SAYS: No one should ever engage in a sexual act that they are not 100 percent comfortable with.
Please don’t give in just to appease your husband as this will only cause resentment and more problems in the long run.
Mummification comes under the umbrella of BDSM, and for those who practice it, the appeal is an exploration of restraint, trust and surrender.
But consent is a cornerstone and must be given freely. Without this, it is completely immobile.
You assume that your husband is not happy, but you need to talk to him about his annoyance.
Can he compromise? Would you like to be less dependent on this cinema?
Suggest that you both see a sex and relationship therapist to help you explore your options. COSRT (cosrt.org.uk) will help you connect with a reputable practitioner.
Categories: Optical Illusion
Source: HIS Education