Thinking of proposing at Christmas? One expert advises why you might want to reconsider, given that it could become a major legal issue.
In an exclusive conversation with PEOPLE, marriage and relationship coach Dr. Jacquie Del Rosario explains why proposing in the middle of the winter holiday season isn’t always as good an idea as it seems. Noting that she thinks Christmas proposals are “very cute and add to the joy of the holidays,” Del Rosario states, however, that “most couples don’t think about what happens if they break up after the engagement.”
“Although in the context of a relationship, a ring may be considered a holiday gift, the law says something completely different,” she continues. “In many states, engagement rings are considered conditional gifts, meaning that you are receiving this item with the expectation that you will fulfill an agreed upon condition, which in this case is marriage.”
“Therefore,” adds Del Rosario, “if the engagement is broken and the couple does not marry, either the ring must be returned to the buyer or the party that did not break the engagement will keep the ring or receive the ring’s monetary value.”
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A couple at Christmas.
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Del Rosario claims that while she is “not against Christmas proposals,” she implores couples “to stay up to date with the laws governing their state and engagement rings.”
“An engagement ring can be a very expensive item at any time of the year, but at Christmas time when most people are already spending an increased amount of money on gifts, a ring would be considered a gift because not everyone proposes with a ring, for a myriad of reasons, and the item is presented as a gift,” she continues.
“However, if you’re proposing to someone whose love language is receiving gifts, buying a smaller gift and giving it before the ring is an extra cherry on top to express your love for them,” adds Del Rosario.
A couple at Christmas.
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The expert — who founded and runs the nonprofit organization ReCapturing the Vision — also advises couples to be open with each other about their future and plans for marriage.
“I believe that one of the fundamental principles for the success of all relationships is clear and constant communication. Talk about everything – and early,” she says. “Marriage is a topic you should have discussed with your partner long before the engagement, but before the holidays come around, talk to your partner about his expectations for receiving gifts and whether it would be okay not to give an extra gift if the other partner suggested it.”
Categories: Trends
Source: HIS Education