A conflicted Reddit user struggles with his decision to buy a home without taking into account his new girlfriend’s opinion — and wonders if he did the right thing.
The user, a single father who goes by the name Swimming-Age-2944 on the website, posted on the popular AITA (which stands for “Am I A——?”) forum that he had been looking for a home of his own for over a year and his two sons. The user said that he bought the house they lived in when his children were small and since then he became dissatisfied with its location.
“I absolutely hate living where I do,” the user wrote. “My work is 30 minutes away and the boys’ school is 45 minutes away.”
The dad said he finally came across a list that seemed perfect for him and his boys.
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“The house came on the market in a neighborhood five minutes from work and 10-15 minutes from the boys’ school, and it was listed way below market value,” he said. “My realtor called me, I saw it the same day and made an offer. The offer is accepted.”
Then a problem arose. The original poster said that before buying the house, he started dating a new woman in February 2024. He described the relationship as casual and non-exclusive until September, when he wrote that things got more serious. In those four months, the topic of starting a family was discussed, the user wrote.
“My girlfriend has shown that she wants to have children, she has no children at the moment,” he said. “I’m definitely open to it, but I didn’t tell her until after I’d been in a relationship with him for at least a few years.”
So when he told his girlfriend the “good news” about buying a house, the original poster said she didn’t share his excitement.
“She was less than thrilled. She asked why I didn’t ‘consult’ with her,” the user continued.
The dad shared how it was difficult for him to find an available home given the current housing market and said he felt an urgency to make an offer.
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“I had to move quickly. I explained it all but she is still upset,” the user wrote trying to explain the situation to his girlfriend.
He said his sister offered some perspective on what might be going through the girl’s mind: “My girlfriend thinks this is the home her kids will potentially raise,” the user wrote. “I can see that, but I feel it’s a little premature to expect to consult with my GF 4 months before buying a house. It’s a little too soon from my perspective.
The original poster also hopped into the comments section to confirm that his girlfriend “knew” he’d been looking at houses for over a year, and even followed him around to look at some of them.
In the comments, users generally affirmed the original poster’s decision to buy a home for herself and children – without input from her partner.
“You’ve only been exclusive since September, sure she might imagine life with you, but that doesn’t mean she has a say in your apartment now,” one user wrote.
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“As a single father, your primary responsibility is to your children,” said another AITA commenter. “You have the right to make decisions that prioritize your well-being and the well-being of your children.”
Another user commented: “It’s too early in the relationship for her to impose an opinion on the house you bought with your money, regardless of her biological clock.”
Categories: Trends
Source: HIS Education