The ‘Accidental Icon’ Never Sought the Spotlight: ‘My Pictures Tell a Story’ (Exclusive)

Lyn Slater never set out to be a portrait of graceful aging. When she first started her fashion blog, random icon, when she was 61, she was going to show off her impeccable tailoring sensibilities. But as her following grew, she heard the same message over and over again: People were inspired not only by her clothes, but also by her attitude — and that she defies stereotypes about what aging looks like.

In her new memoir, How to Be Old: Lessons in Living Boldly from the Accidental Icon, she details the Accidental Icon’s decade of equal parts glamor and determination. The book explores how we can all embrace aging with flair, creativity and a healthy dose of empowerment. Below, Slater shared with PEOPLE how the awesome coat made her think about how much control we have over our image.

I study the coat before I buy it. I go back to the store to look at it again and again. I try it more than once. I feel an involuntary gasp every time I look in the mirror and see that I’m wearing it. The coat borders on the outrageous and I can’t see myself wearing it in everyday life. But I’ve learned to listen to my breath when it’s trying to tell me something. Despite my hesitation, I bring it home. It’s white silk and printed with big, juicy red lips. They look smudged and puffy, as if they’ve been kissed over and over again. There is something compelling about smears of red lipstick on the palest of white lips. Shirt collar, face. Maybe that’s why the only lipsticks I own are in red shades.

I wear a coat to Central Park during a snowstorm. The red lips against the white of the coat and the snow remind me of the face of a geisha. While researching why geisha paint their faces white, I discovered several theories. One is that the practice began at a time when there was not enough light at night during geisha performances. They painted their faces white and their lips red, so their facial expressions were visible even in the dim light of the candles. White with contrasting red lips also serves to hide any difference in facial expressions, so they can always appear happy.

Slater in a coat for a kiss.

Calvin Lom

In the tradition of Kabuki theater, the actors wear the same white make-up. They add color and line in such a way that the mask that creates the character being performed appears.

There is something about these two identities that speaks to how I feel about my increasing visibility. I want my facial expressions to be “seen”, but I also want the safety of a mask as I now lead my life in the public eye. It’s been three years since I started Accidental Icon. I am getting more and more attention from fashion and popular media. My number of followers on Instagram exceeds six figures. I am careful in what I discover and naively believe that I am in control.

I see Accidental Icon as someone who is me, but not me. She’s a character I made up on the fly. While this part of me takes to the spotlight like a moth to a flame, once I’m there, I’m not sure I want to be. Maybe I’m afraid I’ll burn out or have my wings clipped.

Suppressing fears or powerful messages that define us and going against social constraints is not painless. In most cases there is a risk. The biggest risk is that someone else hijacks the story you want to tell about yourself. While something is gained, something is lost.

‘How to be old’ Lyn Slater.

plume

Following the preferences of the notoriously elusive Rei Kawakubo, my goal with Accidental Icon has always been for people to “get to know me through my clothes.” What I choose to wear, how it inspires me and how I write about that choice is how I want to tell my story.

I never intended my story to be a story about age. My love for clothes and how to shape them as an expression of identity is the story I want to tell. This has nothing to do with how old I am. I still believe this. In 2017, my age began to be part of the story of an accidental icon. All characteristics written about me begin and end with my age. Not only do I have an interesting style that makes me unique; it’s that I’m 64 years old and that I’m elegant.

It’s not just that I reinvented myself with a completely different career from the one I already have; it’s that I’m 64 while doing it. While other fashion bloggers get comments about their new bag or what they’re wearing, my followers comment that I make them less afraid of getting old. I give them the courage to take risks in older life, to ignore someone who tells them they are too old to wear something or dye their hair purple if they want to. The world doesn’t seem to believe that I’m doing what I’m doing at the age of 64. I don’t disappear or ride off into the sunset.

Slater in the fall.

Calvin Lom

It’s strange to me that they care so much about my age; I don’t see it as relevant to what I’m doing now or what I’m wearing. At that time I invent and use the hashtag #AgeIsNotA Variable and add, “. . . when it comes to dressing”. When asked about my age in relation to what I do, I cheekily answer: “I don’t comment on that.” Just look at my photos, I’m doing it!”

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I never felt that being old had anything to do with being creative, reinventing myself, or wearing whatever the hell you like. I have to admit that I was a little surprised at how many women were afraid of becoming invisible and how excited they were to see what happened to me. So, somehow, my creative project took a different course than what I had imagined. It became a story about how to be old.

I believed I could maintain a state of “invisible visible” and control my narrative through what I chose to reveal. My pictures told their own story and became a projection of what others wanted to see in them. I guess if you decide to wear a coat with a bright, sexy red lip in the middle of a snowstorm and you don’t think anyone will see you, it might be a bigger leap than you’ve been led to believe.

From HOW TO GET OLD: Lessons on Brave Living from an Accidental Icon, LynSlater, to be published on March 12, 2024 by Plume, an imprint of Penguin PublishingGroup, a division of Penguin Random House LLC. Copyright © 2024 Lyn Slater.

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Source: HIS Education