Whoopi Goldberg Reveals Thoughts on '80s Cocaine Use: ‘I Was Letting Something Else Run My Life’

In her new memoir, Whoopi Goldberg looks back on her past drug use — and the wake-up call that led her to get clean. View cohost, 68, published her book Pieces: My mother, my brother and me May 7 via Blackstone Publishing. The memoir focuses largely on Goldberg’s relationships with her mother, Emma Harris, who died in 2010, and her brother, Clyde K. Johnson, who died in 2015. In addition to serving as an emotional tribute to her family, it also reflects on the ups and downs of her career — including her previous drug use. Goldberg writes that she largely “cleaned up” her recreational drug use in the early ’70s, but returned to it in the ’80s when she spent time in New York and Los Angeles. “I was invited to parties where I was greeted at the door with a bowl of quaaludes from which I could choose whatever I wanted,” Goldberg writes. “Rows of cocaine were laid across tables and bathroom counters to take.”

‘Bits and Pieces’ by Whoopi Goldberg.

Blackstone Publishing

Goldberg notes that she “thought she could handle cocaine,” but after a year she “fell into a deep well of cocaine” and “sunk to a new low.” The actress also revealed that the use of drugs affected her work and that at one point she began to experience hallucinations 24 hours a day. The actress experienced an awakening while staying at a hotel in Manhattan. birthday. After taking an ounce of cocaine that someone gave her, she writes that the housekeeper discovered it in the closet.

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The hostess was surprised by the meeting, and Goldberg noticed that she was staring at her face. After she left, Goldberg looked in the mirror and realized she had cocaine all over her face. “I let something else rule my life and take over,” Goldberg writes. “I didn’t need my mum to be disappointed or angry with me – I was angry enough with myself.” The actress also writes that she wanted to get clean for her daughter Alex and “fix” her life. Goldberg was eventually able to get off the drug, though she noted that “it’s not going to be easy for a long time.”

Actress Whoopi Goldberg at the Hans Christian Anderson Awards on March 15, 1987 at the Century Plaza Hotel in Century City, California

Whoopi Goldberg in 1987.

Ron Galella, Ltd./Collection of Ron Galella via Getty

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Speaking with PEOPLE, Goldberg reflects that the writing process for Scraps — which also touches on the grief of losing a mother and brother — was a challenging but necessary process. Looking back on her life and career, the EGOT winner has a firm stance on the mindset that got her through.

Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE’s free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to interesting human interest stories. , I’m in my sixties… I don’t give zero, you know what. If I don’t want to do it, it’s okay for me to walk away,” Goldberg tells PEOPLE. “Pick your battles and fight them.”Pieces: My mother, my brother and me is now available wherever books are sold.

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