DEAR DEIDRE: A random text message to the wrong woman led me to marry someone I didn’t really love.
Now every day I think about my ex and the amazing sex life we had. I can’t help but wonder how different my life would be if it weren’t for my ‘sliding door’ moment.
I’m on the verge of getting back in touch with her.
I am 40 years old and my wife is 38. We have been together for 10 years.
Twelve years ago, I started dating an amazing woman, who kept me on my toes, was incredibly sexually confident, but teased me.
I got so fed up with the short-term breakups and drama that I started dating another woman.
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The second woman was lovely, but she didn’t turn me on like the first one, neither in bed nor outside of it.
Predictably, as soon as the first wife found out I was seeing someone else, she wanted me more than ever.
One night she texted me to declare her undying love and asked me to move in with her.
What happened next changed my life forever. Drunk, I texted her back saying I was completely in love with her and wanted to live with her.
Except, of course, I didn’t answer her; I texted another woman – my new girlfriend – instead.
Immediately the girl answered me, saying that she loves me too. When I realized my mistake, I panicked. But I was a coward and didn’t have the heart to hurt her.
Instead, I agreed to live together. I told myself it was for the best.
And it probably was. I wasn’t unhappy.
The problem is that although I love my wife, I am not in love with her.
I don’t find her that attractive and I find her boring.
I can’t stop thinking about my ex.
What should I do?
DEIDRE SAYS: Accidents happen.
But being married to someone for 10 years is no accident, even if the process was started by a wrong text.
Meeting anyone, anywhere, involves a certain element of luck.
Stop thinking of yourself as a passive victim of chance and take control of your choices.
You have lived a decade with your wife. If after 10 years you are bored in your marriage – like thousands of other couples – you need to work on it with her or leave.
An affair with an exciting but unreliable woman from your past is not the solution.
Talking to a counselor might help. See my support package on this.
Dear Deidre: Cheating and can you get over it
Categories: Optical Illusion
Source: HIS Education