DEAR DEIDRE: The man I’m in love with has a secret child and I’m sure he’s still sleeping with her mother.
I’m devastated. I had been cheated on before, but he convinced me that he loved me and was trustworthy.
I am 28 and he is 34. We met online a year ago.
It took me a long time to let my defenses down, but then I fell hard for him.
Now I found out that he had been leading a double life all along.
He was often secretive and unavailable to see or talk to me. My intuition told me that he was hiding something from me, but he always denied it.
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Then my friend told me that she saw him in town with a little girl. He held her hand.
I confronted him and he admitted that he has a four-year-old daughter from a previous relationship.
He said he didn’t want to tell me in case it turned me away from him.
Every time he said he was busy on the weekend, he was actually at his ex’s house with their child.
I’ve accepted that he has a child, but I just hate the fact that he lied and I can’t get over the fact that he slept at his ex’s house.
He said they were just friends and denied they had sex. But I don’t believe him. After all, he’s already proven himself to be a liar about his child, so how can I trust him on that?
We fought a lot. I feel so hurt and insecure.
Now he says I’m the one ruining our relationship because I’m paranoid.
DEIDRE SAYS: You caught your boyfriend in a lie.
But instead of taking responsibility for it and working to rebuild your trust, he insults you instead.
He makes you feel like you are to blame for the problems in your relationship.
And he does this knowing that you have already been hurt and deceived. This is not a healthy relationship, and you deserve better.
However, it is possible for a couple to survive a scam, such as my support package Cheating, Can You Get Over It? will explain.
But you both need to be completely honest and work on the relationship together.
Since he shows no signs of wanting to do this, it might be best if you leave. Not all men are cheaters and you might find someone better.
Categories: Optical Illusion
Source: HIS Education