Chappell Roan Recalls Feeling 'Suicidal for Years' While Growing Up and Being Told 'You Need God'

Chappell Roan has come a long way in embracing her queer identity.

In a new interview with The GuardianThe 26-year-old “Red Wine Supernova” singer-songwriter opened up about growing up in Missouri, especially feeling like she couldn’t be who she was on the outside — and was encouraged to turn to her faith.

“I was so desperate to feel understood,” Roan told the newspaper. “I pushed the gay part of me down so deep because I was like, that can’t possibly be me.”

Chappell Roan says she might quit if fame ‘gets dangerous’: ‘That part is not what I signed up for’

Chappell Roan performs in London in September 2024.

Jim Dyson/Getty

The period seemed “very, very lonely” for the MTV VMAs winner. “When I was growing up, it was like, ‘Gay means flamboyant, gay,’ and lesbian means ‘Butch girl who looks manly.’ There was no line of queerness,” she said.

Roan added, “I was very mentally ill — I was suicidal for years — and I wasn’t on medication, because that’s just not part of the Midwestern culture. It’s not, ‘Maybe we should get you a psychiatrist.’ It’s: ‘You need God. You need to pray for it.'”

Not only has the artist since publicly and privately embraced her sexuality, but she’s also found success with hit songs featuring lyrics about queer romance, including “Casual” and “Good Luck, Babe!”

Chappell Roan reveals why he ‘sort of’ doesn’t want to win a Grammy

Chappell Roan at the MTV VMA Awards in New York in September 2024.

ANGELA WEISS/AFP via Getty

However, Roan’s career comes with a number of difficulties. She recently spoke publicly about her experiences with certain fans exhibiting “predatory behavior” and asked her listeners for privacy and respect.

After opening up about the pressure that comes along with her newfound celebrity status, fellow stars including Lorde, Sabrina Carpenter and Charli xcx gave Roan advice on how to deal with fame.

Still, the pressures and difficulties of breaking into the music industry can be tough — and Roan wonders “how anyone” would handle such a drastic life change. “I’m in therapy twice a week. I went to a psychiatrist last week because I thought, I don’t know what’s going on,” she said.

Chappell Roan at the MTV VMA Awards in New York in September 2024.

Kevin Mazur/Getty

Chappell Roan says she might quit if fame ‘gets dangerous’: ‘That part is not what I signed up for’

Roan continued: “She diagnosed me with severe depression – which I didn’t think I had because I really didn’t sad. But I have all the symptoms of someone who is severely depressed.”

Becoming famous led to “Hot to Go!” artist that she feels like her “whole life has changed” since before. “Everything I really love now comes with baggage,” she said.

“If I want to save, I have to book insurance and prepare for this not being normal,” added Roan. “Going to the park, pilates, yoga — how can I do it in a safe way where I won’t be stalked or harassed?”

Categories: Trends
Source: HIS Education