WHEN I was busy opening a pub, one of the (many) things I had to decide was this: should smoking be allowed on the outside terrace?
I knew, of course, that many people like to go to the pub for a pint and a cigarette. But I also knew that many people couldn’t stand the smell.
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Sir Keir Starmer doesn’t like smoking so he’s going to ban it – but his justification for this Stalinist decree just doesn’t add upCredit: Getty
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A sign in Jeremy’s pub referring to outdoor smoking – unfortunately Sir Starmer doesn’t think so Credit: Instagram
So at the end I put the inscriptions: “You like to smoke.” Others might not. If you smoke, be careful.”
In my opinion, this is how society should work. Assume that the vast majority of people are intelligent and compassionate and deal with it.
I guess Ricky Gervais agrees. He explains that he loves animals too much to eat them and that’s why he’s vegan. But he doesn’t insist that I’m vegan too.
Unfortunately, however, Sir Starmer doesn’t think so. He doesn’t like smoking, so he will ban it. And then, to make this Stalinist decree sound reasonable, it says that diseases caused by smoking cost the NHS huge amounts of money every year.
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Really? Because last time I looked, cigarette tax raised £10 billion into the Exchequer every year. Without it, the £22bn “black hole” Starmer keeps harping on about will become £32bn.
Then there’s the cost of raising driver wages, the cost of all those green energy projects he’s funding in Africa, and the cost of finding places in public schools for children whose parents can no longer afford to go to private schools because he put VAT fees on them.
He says he can pay for all this by taxing the rich, but he is wrong.
Disturbed trot
Because if he does, most of the rich will fail. So instead of getting 45 percent of their earnings, he will get nothing.
It is as if he is a doctor and has identified that Britain has some disease. But then he prescribes the completely wrong medicine.
“You have syphilis. It will be a painful time. But you can cure it with this herbal Senokot.”
Jeremy Clarkson obsessed with crowd as fans queued for more than four hours at The Farmer’s Dog pub opening
The main problem is that Starmer, beneath his Playmobil hair and behind the facade of a kick-ass toolmaker, is a full-on communist. He is a modern version of Harold Wilson. He really is Woke Wilson and I literally can’t imagine anything more dangerous.
He believes that private entrepreneurship in all its forms is bad and that everything should be run by the state.
There is even talk that they will introduce an inheritance tax on agricultural land. So, instead of the farms passing from father to son, they will be consumed by the Government. This is always the goal of people who think that ownership is theft.
I’m getting all this off my chest because Starmer will one day label the criticism as a hate crime
State ownership of the village. But look at what the country is leading today. NHS. Motorway network. Border controls. Nothing they do works. And it never did. I can’t be the only one who remembers what a British Rail sandwich tasted like. Coal mainly.
If the government ran WH Smith, the paper would never arrive in the morning. If they started Greggs the bread would be moldy. And if they took control of JCB, every builder in the country would go home at night soaked in hydraulic fluid.
So the idea that they could clean up rivers if they were in charge, or provide cheap reliable electricity, is ridiculous.
I’m getting all this off my chest because Starmer will one day label the criticism as a hate crime.
And if I keep pointing out that he’s a deranged Trot, I’m going to have to spend some time in a cell with a lady named Ethel who tweeted that something should be done about immigration.
In the meantime, I’m going to change the notices outside my pub to say that Starmer will be banning smoking on the premises and that if you want a Lancashire hotpot, you’d better hurry and order because it won’t be long before he bans meat too.
Must-see streamers race ahead of terrestrials
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Brassic is very good. It’s Trainspotting. Pulp Fiction. And Fawlty Towers all in one Credit: © Sky UK Limited.
SOMEONE recently told me that a TV series on Netflix called Brassic is really good.
That’s an understatement. It’s Trainspotting. Pulp Fiction. And Fawlty Towers all in one. But it’s better written than all of them, and the musical budget must be in the millions.
However, what fascinates me about this series is that four series came out before I even heard of it. And it’s not the first time it’s happened. There were six series of Vikings before I started. And two Sense 8s.
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However, what fascinates me about this series is that four series came out before I had even heard of it Credits: © Sky UK Limited.
I wonder how many brilliant things pop up under the radar each week?
Something needs to change. At the moment the papers are telling us what’s on BBC1, but we already know that.
Labor Party political show at 6 p.m. Following are The Repair Shop, The Repair Shop 2, Repair Shop Live, Celebrity Repair Shop and Repair Shop: The Movie.
What we really need is a proper weekly guide to everything Sky and the streamers are running. And what is worth watching. And what isn’t.
The repair is underfoot
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The Drax power plant is right on top of a huge coal field, so why not use that instead of the wrong kind of wood from Canada? Credit: Alamy
Oh dear. The owners of the Drax power station in Yorkshire have been fined £25 million for . . . I’m not sure exactly.
It has something to do with the wood they burn to make steam.
It comes from Canada, but may have come from the wrong type of tree, which may or may not have been cut with the wrong type of saw.
Whatever, the eco-beards are angry and say something should be done.
So how’s this for an idea. Drax is right on top of a huge coalfield, so why not use that instead?
No more shipping from Canada. No more deforestation. Everyone wins.
MICHAEL O’LEARY, who is the charismatic boss of Ryanair, said this week that passengers should only be allowed two drinks at the airport.
I have a better idea.
Make the check-in time shorter because then there won’t be time for more than two drinks. You don’t have to arrive at the train station or bus station two hours in advance.
So why should it be any different for an airplane?
The charm of the farm
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BBC boss Tim Davie apologizes again – this time after Jermaine Jenas debacleCredit: AFP
TIM DAVIE, director general of the BBC, said he wanted the “strongest possible workplace culture” after the Jermaine Jenas debacle.
You should explore my farm.
We laugh. We’re kidding. We work long hours. There are jokes, and some are risky.
And if you feel unhappy or tired or a little sick, you come to work no matter what and get on with it anyway.
I’m not sure that’s what he has in mind.
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Pastafarianism worships something called the Flying Spaghetti Monster Credit: Alamy
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Have scientists exploring an underwater mountain range in the Pacific Ocean found a spaghetti monster this week? Credit: Schmidt Ocean Institute
BEAR with me on this one. Twenty years ago, a strange American kid invented a new religion called Pastafarianism, which worshiped something called the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
He was dismissed as an idiot, of course.
But you’ll never guess what.
Scientists exploring an underwater mountain range in the Pacific Ocean this week have found a previously undiscovered new species. Which looks exactly like the spaghetti monster drawn by our American friend.
So here we are.
Christians could never point at something and say, “That’s God.”
Whereas an American child can now do just that.
Categories: Optical Illusion
Source: HIS Education