Turning to the smartly dressed man sitting on the bar stool next to me, I smiled and said, “I like your shoes.”
Then, lunging forward, I vomited all over them.
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Christine Wright, 49, drank every day for three decades, downing more than 30 units of alcohol a night at the height of her addiction Credit: Mark Newton
But instead of being ashamed, I didn’t care. “Crazy Chrissie” strikes again! Throwing up the wine just meant that there was more room in the stomach for the extra drink.
You might think I was a jaded student, but in fact I was a mother of two boys, who were 16 and 9 at the time, and a successful business woman who worked on film sets and owned her own flower shops.
I separated from my sons father and ex-husband, and on the weekends when he had boyfriends, I would party from Friday night until early Monday morning.
I would crawl from bar to bar, drink and drink, usually with acquaintances. All I cared about was the drink. By the age of 42, I had been taken to the hospital five times for drinking.
I can’t go into details because, to my shame, I can’t remember. I know that if she lost me completely, the bouncers would note the ambulances passing by on a Saturday night.
Inside, the paramedics would assess me if I should go to the emergency room.
I would yell, “I’m not drunk, let me go!” while they were driving me to the hospital.
Falling and smashing your face into pint glasses while dancing on bar tables covered in blood is not a good look. But it was my secret life and a life I cherished – I never even bumped into someone I knew and felt humiliated.
And to be honest, I didn’t think it was a big deal. Yes, I was Crazy Chrissie, but I still had a degree, money, a job, and a home for my children, who were well fed and cared for.
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And I know I’m not alone.
An American study revealed that mothers with small children increased their alcohol consumption by almost 325 percent from the beginning of the pandemic to the end of last year.
Meanwhile, the latest figures from the Office for National Statistics reveal that the number of women who lost their lives from drink-related causes increased by 37 per cent between 2016 and 2021.
I first started drinking when I was 14 after my parents broke up. I took it hard and, desperately trying to numb the pain, I would go to the store and buy Thunderbird wine and Mad Dog 2020 rum.
Then I would hang around the parks and clubs in Dewsbury, West Yorks, and get smashed with friends.
“Mom likes wine”
I was living with my dad at the time and when he found out, he sent me to live with my mom.
However, due to a combination of circumstances, my mother and I ended up in a hostel for the homeless. I was 16 years old then.
Although it was a difficult time, I continued to study hard for my A-levels and Mum and I were finally moved into the house.
But on Boxing Day, when I was 17, my world came crashing down and my drinking took epic proportions.
I was raped by an older boyfriend at a house party.
Dancing on bar tables, covered in blood, is not a good look, but it was my secret life – a life I cherished.
The trauma was too great and I was too numb to ask for anything and I didn’t think the police would believe a drunk teenager.
I left home and ran away to Manchester. No one knew me there and I saw it as an opportunity for a new start.
I started a course at Manchester Metropolitan University to study hotel management and tourism. I was no longer Crazy Chrissie, but “Christine from Yorkshire”.
I still drank a bottle of wine in the evening, but it was more socially acceptable, since I was a student. In 1998, in my third year of university, I gave birth to a boy with the man who was to become my husband. I didn’t drink during the whole pregnancy, except for one gin and tonic, because I was too worried about my baby’s health.
After graduation, I started my own business as a florist, and our second son was born in 2004 — I didn’t drink then either.
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Christine on a night out Credits: Submitted
Unfortunately, our relationship did not last and we broke up in 2009.
Soon my one bottle a night habit turned into three. My sons, who lived with me from Monday to Friday, were never neglected and the parents at the school gate would not know that I drink so much.
I would still dress very elegantly, wear make-up and smile. But I would start drinking at 5pm, I couldn’t sleep if I didn’t drink about three bottles. Even my kids knew “Mom likes wine”.
After about three months I hardly slept, I went to the doctor and confessed everything.
He gave me liver tests but refused me sleeping pills.
It was found that I have an autoimmune disease primary biliary cholangitis. Although it wasn’t caused by my drinking, it got worse. But that didn’t make me stop.
Despite my excessive drinking, I was able to function well for a while. I laughed to myself at the hospital visits, downplaying how serious they really were.
When I was 17, my drinking escalated to epic proportions. I was raped by an older boyfriend at a house party.
And I flourished in my career, opening a shop in Boroughbridge, North Yorks. I was invited to important events, like industrial events, and at one of them I tried cocaine.
Despite being a Class A drug, it seemed acceptable. Other people have used it, so why shouldn’t I?
And so, despite having small children at home, I sniffed the white powder. The gap between Crazy Chrissie and Mama Christina was closing fast. I got so drunk that night that an assistant had to pick me up at 2am because I was lost. By that time – at the age of 41 – I would have felt nauseous if I hadn’t had a drink by lunchtime.
But my business was going well and I branched out, I started arranging flowers for movies and TV sets. I’ve never been drunk on set, but I would drink right after – even if the kids were in the house.
Then one day everything changed for me. I was driving to Morley, West Yorks, when I saw a man on a bridge.
Everything has changed
I stopped and he told me that he wanted to commit suicide.
He said he was an alcoholic and wanted to die. It was like looking into a mirror.
As he spoke, I couldn’t help but think, “Maybe he’s talking about me.”
He talked for a long time and finally came down. I didn’t say much, I just listened.
I’m ashamed to say that after the meeting I went home and poured myself a huge glass of wine.
But the next day I called my doctor and said for the first time, “I’m an alcoholic.”
I stopped that day, which I’m not sure I’d recommend – people need to talk to their doctor before stopping drinking.
YOU NEED HELP?
IF you need suicide support, call Samaritains for free on 116 123.
You can contact Alcoholics Anonymous, also free, on 0800 917 7650.
You can visit Christine’s mentoring program at habitbreaker.org
I am proof that someone can appear to be one thing and be something completely different.
To the outside world, I was Christine: mom, friend, businesswoman. But on the inside I was Crazy Chrissie, who didn’t care about her liver, maybe drove drunk, took cocaine, and couldn’t sleep unless she had three bottles.
It’s a miracle I’m alive today.
I suffered a lot and caused suffering to people around me, so I wanted to give back.
So after recovery I started an online mentoring program, Habit Breaker, to help those who don’t want to be addicts.
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Christine covered in blood after a drunken fall in a bar Credits: Submitted
My sons, who are now 26 and 19, are proud of me. And luckily, despite years of drinking, my liver is not seriously damaged.
I also moved forward positively. I met a man who knew all about my troubled past and my job remained intact.
Clients are impressed, not repulsed, by my honesty.
I think many women struggle with secret alcoholism like me.
The sneaky after-work drinks become two, then three and before you know it, you can’t stop.
But I’m not ashamed — I’m proud, sober and grateful for every day I live without alcohol.
Categories: Optical Illusion
Source: HIS Education