DEAR DEIDRE: PLAYING around one bedtime, my boyfriend asked me if I would consider an open relationship.
But when I admitted my fantasy, he was disgusted and now he is grumpy.
We’ve been together for three years and we’ve never been adventurous in bed, even though I secretly wanted to be.
So when he asked about non-monogamy, I was excited and hoped that this would be an opportunity to start exploring our sexual relationship.
I really like him, but he’s convinced that my sex dream must mean I’m gay.
We are both in our early thirties and in his mind opening up our relationship meant we could go and have sex with other people, with the other’s blessing.
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He was clearly taken aback when I revealed to him that I would like to watch him have sex with another woman.
The thought of watching him undress and be intimate with a curvy, confident woman really turns me on.
Everything revolves around them in my imagination — I watch them move together — and then my boyfriend and I have sex together while talking about his session with another woman.
But in his head I introduce him to the idea that I love only women.
He is convinced that this is just the beginning and that he will soon be kicked out.
I’m not even sure if I want to make this fantasy a reality, but he’s convinced I’ll leave him for another woman.
He’s a great guy, but I’m sick of him.
They won’t listen to what I say.
DEIDRE SAYS: Your boyfriend sounds insecure and his reaction makes me wonder if maybe an ex-relationship, or some other key relationship in his life, broke up over the issue of sexuality.
If you want your relationship to work, communication is the only way.
Keep talking and convincing him.
Ask him to think about why your fantasy makes him feel so threatened.
But you also have to set some boundaries because everyone has their own boundaries.
Tell him that there will come a time when he will have to decide if he can move on and trust you.
Otherwise, you will reach a point where it would be better to go your own way.
On the surface, your problem is about sex, but the deeper issues here are trust and communication.
I’m sending you my Relationship MOT Support Package to help you work through this together.
Categories: Optical Illusion
Source: HIS Education