DEAR DEIDRE: All I can think about is watching my wife have sex with another man.
We did it once, many years ago, and I’ve never forgotten the thrill of the experience. But now we are older. and I don’t know how to suggest to my wife that we try again.
I am 46 years old and my wife is 45 years old. We have been married for 15 years.
When we first got together, we were both open to sexual experiences and agreed to try everything once.
We went to sex parties, tried S&M, had threesomes and made love outdoors, in risky places. All of these were pleasant experiences that brought us closer.
But the experience that turned me on more than any other was when I witnessed my wife having sex with someone else in front of me.
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We found the guy and brought him home. He raped my wife for hours in front of me, while I had to sit in silence.
It seemed so taboo that it left a deep impression on me.
I’m what you might call an Alpha male – respectable and successful – so feeling humiliated and powerless was a new feeling for me.
Since then I have often fantasized about what happened that night. Sometimes I talk about it during sex, and my wife plays with it, though she’s never suggested we do it again.
I really want to repeat the experience, but I don’t know how to start a topic.
I worry that she’ll think less of me as a man if she knows how much I enjoyed it.
What should I do?
DEIDRE SAYS: It’s not unusual for successful people to find passivity in sex very exciting.
It’s a contrast to the pressures of your everyday life.
But you have built your memory of seeing your wife having sex with another man into a perfect fantasy.
And turning fantasies into reality is often disappointing.
You are both older, your relationship has developed, and there is a danger that what drove you apart as a young couple will tear you apart.
Be sure to bring it up gently with her – when you’re not in the bedroom, so there’s no pressure, and she knows it’s not just sex talk.
Start by reminiscing about your adventures from your youth. See how she reacts.
If she’s not thrilled, think about other ways to spice up your sex life. My support pack 50 Ways to Add Fun to Sex might be a good starting point.
Dear Deidre about relationships, jealousy and envy
Categories: Optical Illusion
Source: HIS Education