Joan Vassos Feels She 'Wasn't Lovable' After 1 Man Exits Due to Lack of 'Spark' and Tells Her, 'I'm Not in Love'

This post contains spoilers from the Wednesday, October 30 episode The Golden Bachelor.

Fantasy Suites may not have been a fantasy for everyone.

In the episode of October 30 The Golden BachelorJoan Vassos headed to Tahiti with her last three men – Chock, Guy and Pascal – for the final leg of her journey.

“I’m going to make a decision that will change my life,” 61-year-old Joan told the cameras about what awaits her in French Polynesia.

The Golden Bachelor Joan Vassos says she had a ‘no bed’ rule on the show: ‘No physical part’

Joan stayed aboard Windstar Cruises’ Star Breeze while in Tahiti and visited her The Golden Bachelor the best Nancy Hulkower. The headmaster of the private school explained to Nancy, 62, where she stood with every man left and admitted she still has remorse for leaving her late husband John.

“I had an overwhelming sense of guilt that I was being selfish,” Joan Nancy said. “And if I really love John the way I say I do, there’s no way I could go on. And but, I have. I love him and always will, but I also have feelings for other men.”

Nancy assured Joan, “You are not wrong in what you feel.”

Golden Bachelor Joan Vassos (left) with ‘Golden Bachelor’ alumna Nancy Hulkower.

Disney/Gilles Mingasson

GUY’S FANTASY SUITE

Entering the Fantasy Suite date with Joan, Guy said: “My feelings are really strong. I believe I’m falling in love with Joan and I see this coming to an end.”

Guy, 66, and Joan sipped champagne on a yacht before going snorkelling.

“My kids and my sisters adored you,” Guy told Joan about the hometown visit. “I don’t know how you feel, but I never thought I’d feel this way again.”

Joan agreed. “I’ve had such revelations about my heart that I didn’t think I could get where I’m not, and it surprised me,” she said. “And it feels good.”

The mother-of-four told the cameras that Guy made her feel “so full of hope”, which made her decision “a lot harder”.

“He opened up and now he’s so completely in, it makes me feel the same way,” Joan told the cameras. “He’s certainly as strong as the other relationships I have now.”

The Golden Bachelor Joan Vassos with Guy.

Disney/Gilles Mingasson

Over dinner with Guy, Joan called their date “one of the best days I can remember,” and invited him to the Fantasy Suite—no strings attached.

“I want to have time off camera where we can talk and talk about intimate things, but when it comes to the physical part of it, I’m not going to do it with three different people,” Joan told Guy. “So I’m not going to do it with anyone now. And I’ll save that for when I have my last person and the person I hope to spend the rest of my life with.”

The ER doctor understood. “I have so much respect for what you’re saying,” Guy told Joan.

In addition, Joan and Guy spent the night in the Fantasy Suite.

“I feel perfect,” Guy said the next morning. “I absolutely feel like I got everything I needed. I got intimate on an emotional level. It was a very good night.”

CHOCK’S FANTASY SUITE

Chock sat down with host Jesse Palmer ahead of the Fantasy Suite date to talk about how he’s feeling.

“I’m in love with her, and a guy like me just doesn’t let that go,” Chock, 60, told Jesse, 46.

When Jesse asked Chock how he saw the show ending, the insurance executive said, “It’s either going to end as an engagement or I’m going to break my heart.”

For his date with Joan, Chock and The Golden Bachelor went ATV riding in Tahiti. “I’m here with an amazing woman and I’ll remember this for the rest of my life,” Chock Joan said.

The Golden Bachelor Joan Vassos with Chock.

Disney/Gilles Mingasson

Afterwards, Chock and Joan had a picnic. “This is for the absence that actually makes the heart grow fonder,” Joan said as she toasted Chock.

Chock told Joan he felt like “the luckiest guy,” adding on camera, “I really, really want this woman in my life.”

The couple dined at Star Breeze and discussed how their relationship is doing.

“The closeness and the way we work together as a couple is worth taking to a higher level,” said Chock Joan.

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Joan told Chock that she knew he “would never hurt me.”

“I started to feel unnoticed when John passed away, so I think sometimes you just need one person to see you,” she said in an on-camera interview. “Chock makes me feel seen.”

Joan then invited Chock to the Fantasy Suite and informed him that she did not want to have “physical intercourse” that night.

“I’m perfectly fine with that,” Chock assured.

The next morning, Chock released the diary and told the cameras that he and Joan had a “fun night” that included champagne and a “big comfy couch.”

“What have we done? That’s between Joan and me,” he teased.

PASCAL’S FANTASY SUITE

When Pascal spoke to Jesse before the Fantasy Suite meeting, the salon owner said he almost got engaged last November.

“I want to move on, but it’s difficult,” Pascal, 69, admitted.

Still, Pascal continued to enjoy the Tahitian buffet with Joan – and he appreciated that the Tahitians spoke French. “I feel at home, I feel comfortable,” said the Frenchman. “They speak my language!”

From there, Pascal and Joan participated in a Tahitian tying ceremony, where things got serious.

Joan said during the ceremony that she wanted to let go of “the fear of letting someone into my life” as well as her “fear of not being able to honor John’s memory.”

The Golden Bachelor Joan with Pascal.

Disney/Gilles Mingasson

“When we talk about feeling emotions, I wasn’t ready for that,” Pascal told the cameras. “You know I appreciate the thought behind it and I did my best to show her who I am, but my wall is still up. I am guarded. I’m afraid. I’m not ready for that.”

Pascal admitted that the tying ceremony “terrified me,” and planned to talk to Joan about it during the evening portion of the date.

When they sat down to dinner, Pascal got straight to the point. “Today was a very interesting day for me,” said Pascal Joan. “I didn’t expect that.”

Pascal explained to Joan that he was in love with someone last year and that he didn’t expect it to get to this point on The Golden Bachelor after his daughter sang it for the show.

“I’m scared because it’s very difficult for me to let go,” said Pascal. “I care deeply about you and the reasons I wanted to do this [this] is yes [not] hurt you. I just don’t think I could get to the place you want me to be.”

Joan was amazed at Pascal: “If you’re not ready, that’s one thing. If you’re never going to be ready, that’s another matter.”

Pascal laid it all out. “I know what love is. I experienced it, you experienced it,” Pascal began. “And I care about you as a friend. But I’m not in love, you know, and I just can’t be there and it hurts because we’re having a good time together.”

The Golden Bachelor Joan Vassos ‘terrified’ of a man after hometowns: ‘I don’t want my heart to be broken’

Pascal continued, “I need that spark and I just don’t have it.”

Joan told Pascal “it’s okay” that his “heart just isn’t ready.”

“I didn’t imagine it would turn out like this, but you know, life has a strange way of doing that to you,” Joan said in an on-camera interview.

Pascal tried to chase away the cameras while dating Joan. “I hate hurting people,” Pascal said. “Now I’m hurt and I hurt her and I feel terrible about it.”

Joan said on camera that she really felt hurt. “It made me realize that he knows how to love, but he just can’t; I was not a sweetheart,” she said to the cameras. “It’s hard to be vulnerable after you’ve been hurt. The walls are back up and I feel like a failure.”

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