Kristin Cavallari Says She 'Went on a Couple Dates' with Jay Cutler After Divorce to Rekindle Their Love: It's a 'Trauma Bond'

Kristin Cavallari doesn’t shy away from the details of her marriage and eventual divorce from Jay Cutler.

On Bunnie XO’s Stupid blonde podcast, Cavallari, who was married to Cutler, 41, from 2013 to 2020, admitted that things were “never good” between the pair as she revealed how her troubled relationship with her father affected her marriage.

“So the thing is, I was repeating a pattern with my dad. And because I didn’t work on my relationship with my dad — that’s what you do, you know? I ended up marrying my dad,” Cavallari, 37, said is. “And so, that’s when it really made me work with my s—, which I did.”

After her divorce in 2020, Cavallari said she “really took time to pull myself together” to avoid “repeating that pattern” in a future relationship.

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“Things were just never good and we tried, we really did… We really did everything we could,” she said of her marriage, which she called “toxic” because she “didn’t work on herself.”

“I was a fucking baby, I didn’t know any better,” she said, referring to the fact that she was just 23 when she first started dating the former NFL player, who was 27. bride.”

Kristin Cavallari and Jay Cutler attended the Uncommon James VIP Grand Opening at Uncommon James on October 25, 2019 in Chicago, Illinois. Timothy Hiatt/Getty

Cavallari also admitted that she and Cutler – who is now engaged to Samantha Robertson – “actually went on a few dates” in the year after the divorce “trying to see” if their relationship could be rekindled.

“Because, man, it’s freaking hard,” she said. “And then I think — unless you’ve been through this, especially with a toxic marriage, it’s like it holds you… It’s a fucking traumatic relationship. And until you can really break it, I’d go back [to Cutler] a few times and say, ‘I know it’s wrong, but, like, why am I doing this?'”

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Eventually, however, Cavallari said it was “like, ‘I can’t do it’ for the 18 millionth time,” and she called it quits for good. “Then I really got the job done.”

The Laguna Beach The alum also claimed her ex-husband is a “pathological liar” as she told Bunnie XO, “There are things from my marriage that I’ll never know, and I just had to let it go. I’m over it now, and I can — that’s probably why I can feel free to talk about it.”

PEOPLE has reached out to Cutler for comment.

Kristin Cavallari on ‘Watch What Happens Live’.

Charles Sykes/Bravo via Getty

In October, Cavallari, who has sons Camden, 12, and Jaxon, 10, and 9-year-old daughter Saylor with Cutler, said she was “heartbroken” by her marriage to the Bears quarterback.

“Even though I’m the one who left, it wasn’t what I wanted. It wasn’t what I imagined,” she said on the Oct. 22 episode of her podcast. Let’s be honest. “And I really tried to do the fucking best I could. It’s heartbreaking when you want something so bad, but you just can’t get it. And I would say my heart was broken for years in my marriage — I mean it was .”

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Still, she said she and her ex are “in the best place we’ve been” lately.

“It took four years. But things are really good for us now. So much so that we even sat together at one of the Camden basketball games recently, and that makes me so happy, because honestly, I never thought we’d get there. I really didn’t. ”

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Source: HIS Education