Mandy Moore Admits Getting Married at 24 Ultimately Took Her to a ‘Hollow, Empty, Isolated Place’

Mandy Moore reflects on her decision to marry “very young” at the age of 24.

The This is us The alum (39) revealed how her parents’ relationship influenced her to marry her first husband, rocker Ryan Adams, in 2009. The couple separated in 2015 and officially divorced in 2016.

“I think it was a direct response to my parents splitting up and being together apparently since they were 16 or so, and I was heartbroken and I believe I found myself in a relationship with someone who was like that , ‘Oh, I can create a family with this person for this person,’ she said in the last episode Dinners on my account podcast. “And it was obviously not the right situation in any way. But I also think it happened at a point where I was like, ‘I’m ready to shut it all down.'”

Ryan Adams and Mandy Moore. Jason LaVeris/FilmMagic; Charley Gallay/Getty Inside Mandy Moore and Ryan Adams’ six-year marriage: ‘It was tough. It was dark. It was lonely’

The Dr. death star added that it felt like “the perfect time to get married and focus on this very personal, quiet chapter in my life and in the end it kind of left me in a really hollow, empty, isolated place.”

Moore also described how her life has evolved since the end of her first marriage by finding love with husband Taylor Goldsmith, whom she married in 2018 and welcomed sons August “Gus” Harrison, 2, and Oscar “Ozzie” Bennett Goldsmith, 15 months.

“It’s so weird because I look back on that chapter and it feels like it happened to someone else because I’m in a completely different place in my life, I’m married and I have kids,” she said. divided. “And it’s almost like I even did it? How did I ever end up in that place where I allowed myself to be treated like that, to see myself like that?”

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“The feeling of putting yourself down or making yourself as small as possible to make others around you feel as comfortable as possible was something that obviously started for me at an early age and continued through that very unhealthy relationship I was in,” she continued.

Moore said she felt like the experience happened to “a completely different person [that] I don’t recognize it, I have nothing to do with everything.”

“I can’t even put myself in those shoes anymore, it’s strange,” she added. “I am so grateful for that experience. I am grateful for everything he taught me and where he led me and ultimately led me to find this amazing partner.”

Mandy Moore attends the 2nd Annual HCA Broadcast & Cable TV Awards at The Beverly Hilton on August 13, 2022 in Beverly Hills, California.

Leon Bennett/FilmMagic

Mandy Moore felt ‘spiritually and fundamentally stuck’ before divorce: ‘I don’t blame myself’

This is not the first time that Moore has spoken about her experience in marriage with Adams. In one 2019 The New York Times Story, she was among seven women who accused Adams of being manipulative, controlling and obsessive.

Moore said NYT that her ex-husband took control of her music career in 2010, three years after they first met when she was 23. She claimed that he “dissuaded” her from working with other producers and managers, but after they wrote songs together, Adams would “replace her with other female artists” when it came time to record the songs.

She also said he was “psychologically abusive” and belittled her musical abilities. “His controlling behavior essentially blocked my ability to make new connections in the industry during a very crucial and potentially lucrative period — my entire mid-to-late 20s,” Moore told times.

At the time, Adams denied Moore’s claims through his attorney, Andrew B. Brettler, saying her “characterization” of their relationship “completely contradicts his point of view.”

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The same year her divorce was finalized, Moore spoke exclusively with PEOPLE about her six-year marriage and moving on after the painful divorce. “My story took a different direction than I expected,” Moore said of her split. “But ultimately, life is about being happy and fulfilled, and sometimes that means making tough decisions.”

Through it all, she tried not to wallow in pain.

“There are times when we’re curled up in a ball on the floor,” Moore admitted. “It’s really hard. But I’ve moved on and thrived through the stages of sadness and anger and feeling lost and all that. I believe that things happen for a reason. And I think I had that mantra going through the hard times.”

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Source: HIS Education