DEAR DEIDRE: Having three is my ultimate fantasy, so when my boyfriend proposed one, I was so excited.
But when push came to shove, he bottled it and left me with another man. Now he says I cheated on him.
I am 32 years old, my boyfriend is 34 years old and we have been together for four years.
I’ve always wanted a threesome, but my boyfriend was never keen, until we were on holiday in America.
One night he drunkenly announced that he was interested and that one of the men we talked to seemed like the perfect third partner.
I was excited, especially since the other guy was attractive and seemed very flirtatious with both of them.
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We were shooting videos together and my boyfriend quietly started a topic with him, and then he told me that he was really interested.
Everything looked perfect, my boyfriend and I were dancing together, and then this man joined. I felt so sexy. But after my boyfriend came back from the toilet, he completely turned around.
He pulled me aside, announcing that he was no longer feeling well and went to bed. It was so weird.
Stunned, I stayed and had a drink with our new friend. We went back to his room, talking all night.
The next day, my boyfriend was furious, even though I claimed that nothing had happened. I promised him he was just being friendly, but now he says he’ll never trust me again.
Was I naive to put myself in this situation? I still don’t think I did anything wrong.
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DEIDRE SAYS: For some couples threesomes can be fun, but for others it can cause major problems, including jealousy and loss of trust.
Your boyfriend probably changed his mind because he didn’t like seeing you entertaining other men after all.
Even though you didn’t take any further action, spending the whole night with a man he knew you wanted to have sex with probably made his anxieties go too far.
Instead of defending yourself, try to talk to him about his feelings and listen with open ears.
Showing him that you care and understand his point of view will make things easier between you.
My Relationship MOT support package will help you, as will couples therapy. See tavistockrelationships.org (020 7380 1960).
Categories: Optical Illusion
Source: HIS Education