Relationship Expert Warns Couples to ‘Get Realistic’ During the Holidays to Avoid This ‘Nightmare’ (Exclusive)

The holiday season, while busy and fast-paced, doesn’t also have to be stressful or ho-ho-horrible for couples, according to one relationship expert.

In an exclusive conversation with PEOPLE, marriage and relationship coach Dr. Jacquie Del Rosario offers advice on how couples can “get realistic” to avoid what she describes as a “nightmare” this December.

“The holiday season, while joyful, can amplify existing challenges for couples,” she says. “The biggest challenge I’ve seen for couples often lies in managing heightened expectations and balancing family responsibilities.”

“My advice,” continues Del Rosario, “is to be realistic about your expectations and discuss them openly with your partner. Create your own traditions as a couple and embrace the joy of togetherness over perfection.”

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The couple celebrates Christmas together.

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According to Del Rosario, who earned a bachelor’s degree in psychology from the University of Miami before pursuing a master’s and doctoral degree at Nova Southeastern University, one big thing couples argue about during the holidays is where to spend them.

“At the beginning of a relationship, couples should make a plan for the holidays – which holidays will be celebrated, how and where,” she offers as advice for couples.

“Just as life changes, plans change,” adds Del Rosario. “Couples should review their plan every year to make sure it fits their current lifestyle, and if not, adjust it where necessary.”

Christmas tree outdoors. Cornelia Doerr/Photographer’s Choice/Getty Images

Another problem couples face this time of year, Del Rosario says, revolves around money and spending it.

“Manage the holidays instead of letting the holidays rule you,” explains the expert — who founded and runs the nonprofit organization ReCapturing the Vision. “Establish your own traditions that are not commercialized. It is family traditions that bring warmth and vivid memories. They are the things we remember that warm our hearts and lead us to share them generation after generation.”

“Set a budget, and do it early,” she adds. “If receiving and giving tangible gifts is important to you, sit down with your partner and determine a dollar amount per person or even the total amount that will be spent on the vacation. You both need to be committed and honest about sticking to the budget, I agree.”

The couple celebrates Christmas together.

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During this time of year, Del Rosario tells PEOPLE that it’s important for couples to remember what’s important to them and express their love for each other.

“The holidays are all about bonding and sharing, and couples can use the same principle to strengthen their relationship during the holidays,” she says. “Couples can cultivate intimacy and togetherness through small, meaningful rituals like cooking together or taking vacation photos.”

And while she notes that “sharing individual traditions is important and can be a bonding moment,” Del Rosario adds, “it’s important to set your own traditions and determine what you want to face together as a couple during the holidays. .”

“Expressing gratitude, prioritizing quality time, and participating in activities together are not just practices, but expressions of love and connection that can strengthen a relationship,” she concludes.

Categories: Trends
Source: HIS Education