Stassi Schroeder Shares Advice for 'Taking the Pressure Off' in New Book (Exclusive)

Stassi Schroeder is very tired.

Mother of two children and ex Vanderpump Rules star, 36, wrote her new book You can’t have everythingas “a mom, as a wife, as someone who wants to be everything”, as it says on some of the first pages. “I’m writing this book to end all the drama I’m bringing into my own life.”

And the book, she carefully noted, was not strictly anti-girlboss, but it’s anti-toxicity, anti-burnout, and anti-anything that makes women—especially mothers—feel like they’re worthless. “I love an ambitious woman who goes after everything she wants, and I’m no stranger to culture and bossing around girls,” writes Schroeder.

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“But I have to ask one question: after the brutal, stressful, chaotic years we’ve all collectively lived through since the pandemic, is being the boss with all its crap really a good vibe?”

Throughout the book, Schroeder offers her tips for surviving everything the world throws at modern women, especially moms. Here is a sample of that wisdom.

‘You Can’t Have It All’ by Stassi Schroeder.

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It’s okay to pump the brakes

“It’s impossible to function 100 percent in everything we do, so why do we put all this pressure on ourselves?” Schroeder asks, in the book. She points out that many of her mom’s friends and other women realize that it’s high time we do the math and that the constant pressure is no longer okay.

“In this new phase, Stassi 2.0 or 5.0 or whatever, I’m all about releasing pressure, giving yourself grace, and leaning into what makes you happy, guilt-free,” she writes.

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Focus on the little things

IN You can’t have everythingSchroeder suggests looking for the little things when you start to feel overwhelmed, stressed, or when your own Dark Traveler starts to rear its head.

“When life gets bad, I focus on the things that bring me joy and the things I’m grateful for. That and a little self-deprecating humor are my coping mechanisms that keep me sane and happy,” she writes. “‘Having it all’ to me means appreciating the things and moments that bring me bits of joy, the little things like getting spray paint or finding out one of my favorite shows is being renewed and the big things like the freedom to be unapologetically real and true to myself .”

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Go ahead, be (slightly) delusional

Do you remember BDE? Schroeder wants readers to rely on that—great delusional energy, that is. Call it whatever you want, but sometimes overconfidence can be just what you need, especially if you’re facing something that scares you. “Basically, you want to exaggerate your sense of self-worth, your power, your confidence, your knowledge,” she writes. “And it turns out a little delusion goes a long way.”

Stassi Schroeder (right) and her husband Beau Clark in 2021.

Axelle/Bauer-Griffin/FilmMagic

Don’t play the comparison game

Easier said than done, but what Schroeder knows better than anyone is the lure of being compared to others on social media. But reminding yourself that everyone’s online lives aren’t real life can be a sanity saver. “I might be all for some online filtering or smoothing out wrinkles, but there’s also a glorious freedom that comes with accepting that things will never be perfect in your life,” she writes. “That doesn’t mean I won’t use a filter just to look a little brighter. Life isn’t black and white, but it can be greasy.”

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Stassi Schroeder 2023.

Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images

Resist the success FOMO

“I’ve often wondered why I suffer from Success FOMO. It’s not that I wasn’t happy for my peers when good opportunities presented themselves. I was. But at the same time, I would be overcome with insecurity if the same things weren’t happening to me.” , writes Schroeder. But she learned a trick from The Skinny Confidential Him & Her podcast with Lauryn and Michael Bosstick that changed her view of the green-eyed monster.

Just imagine having to change lives with that person: not only do you get the great big thing you crave, but also their stressors that cause insomnia in the middle of the night, their partner (or lack thereof), children, and all the messy, complicated stuff you can’t see. It’s a great way to banish beasts.

Stassi Schroeder.

Courtesy of Afrika Armando

And above all, don’t be afraid to take care of yourself

Where Shroeder’s book becomes most raw and vulnerable is when she talks about her mental health, her struggles with self-harm, postpartum depression, and not feeling good enough as a person, a parent, and a wife. But Schroeder learned a hard-won lesson she wants everyone else to learn: Be yourself. Someone will like it. And there is no substitute for hard work, especially in mental health.

“There’s no bossing girls around in mental health: it’s important to be honest and real about what you need,” she explains. “The thing about failure is that once you get over the pain or uncertainty of it all, you have the freedom to be someone else.”

By publishing this book, Schroeder is helping to offer readers the power to do the same.

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You Can’t Have It All: The Essential Guide to Decompressing Stassi Schroeder is on sale now, wherever books are sold.

Categories: Trends
Source: HIS Education