Thanksgiving Will Look Far Different for Rachel Platten Compared to Years Past: 'I Remember Feeling So Scared' (Exclusive)

It was Thanksgiving and Rachel Platten instinctively knew she had a lot to be thankful for. But while she found herself surrounded by friends and family and feelings of somewhat contagious gratitude, Platten says she couldn’t help but feel completely alone.

“I remember being so afraid that my chronic pain would get worse or that I wouldn’t make it through the night because of anxiety or something,” Platten, 43, tells PEOPLE in a revealing new interview. – It was a very, very dark time.

But this year, Thanksgiving will look a lot different, as the multi-platinum Emmy Award-winning artist and singer-songwriter will spend the morning performing in this year’s Macy’s Day Parade alongside fellow music powerhouses like Jennifer Hudson, Kylie Minogue and Idina Menzel.

“A few years ago, I couldn’t imagine going public, let alone running in front of millions of people on national television,” says the “Fight Song” hitmaker. “But look at me now. I managed to get out of all that pain and instead, I get to shine and be in front of millions of people on Thanksgiving.”

Rachel Platten.

Jess Lynn Hess

Who will perform in the 2024 Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade? See the full lineup

Indeed, Platten has been completely transparent and vulnerable about the mental health issues that have plagued her in recent years — including everything from postpartum depression to unrelenting anxiety.

“It’s a miracle that I made it through and that I’m here and that I’m so strong,” explains Platten. “I get the same emotional waves as always, but I have all these tools like therapy, journaling and meditation in my toolbox now that I know how to work with them and let them go. I haven’t necessarily changed, but I’ve learned to accept myself and love all of me, and that’s what I’m most grateful for these days.”

Certainly, some of Platten’s deepest and fiercest struggles with herself found their way into the music of her new album I’m Rachel Plattenand especially on soul-baring songs like “Mercy”.

“I wrote that song alone in my studio in the middle of the night crying for mercy,” he recalls of the poignant track that now features on Platten’s first studio album in seven years. “I was in so much pain from everything I’d been through that I just couldn’t take it anymore. The song came to me in about 20 minutes, almost as if I was chasing it and it already existed. It was kind of an answer in the moment — maybe you’re not feeling well right now , but one day you will be.”

And that one day is today.

“What I’ve been going through makes sense,” Platten says quietly.

Rachel Platten.

Jess Lynn Hess

She was reminded of that overall meaning last October when she received the coveted Voice for Change Award from the National Mental Illness Association of New York for her work advocating for mental health.

“As a musician, you are taught to strive for one kind of achievement, one kind of success, one kind of reward – and we forget that the very purpose of art transcend an art form,” she says. “It’s influencing people and being rewarded for influencing them beyond just my industry. It’s almost bigger than I can fathom. [That award] means so much to me.”

Rachel Platten wants to help other women suffering from postpartum depression: ‘We’re not bad moms’ (Exclusive)

It will also mean a lot to Platten that her husband Kevin Lazan and their two daughters — daughter Violet Skye, 5, and 3-year-old Sophie Jo — will join her in New York for the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

“It’s a lot to come from the West Coast and bring the kids to town, but my husband will graciously do it,” Platten tells PEOPLE with a laugh. “I think my nephews and nieces are coming too, so it’s going to be really sweet.”

Rachel Platten.

Jess Lynn Hess

Certainly, this year will seem much easier than the last.

“What else is important other than our own ability to measure ourselves from the past to the present?” Paid questions. “I think that’s the only benchmark we should compare ourselves to. It’s all about keeping it in perspective – from which he was where am i now. It’s an important change in perspective, and I’ll keep that in mind for Thanksgiving.”

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Source: HIS Education