The Ultimatum's Dave Breaks His Silence on Early Exit with Vanessa, Calls Nick's Behaviors a 'Red Flag on Fire' (Exclusive)

Warning: This story contains spoilers from episodes 1-8 Ultimatum: Get married or move on season 3

Dave Adams finally sheds light on his early departure from Season 3 Ultimatum: Get married or move on.

Dave (34) and his girlfriend Vanessa Hattaway came on the show together after Vanessa (30) gave him an ultimatum. But after choosing their tentative marriage partners during The Choice and moving in together, Dave and Vanessa ended up leaving the show early in episode 4, along with fellow couple Micah Hardeman and Chanel Watkins.

Producers revealed that the group had “secretly met off-camera” earlier in the day, but “surveillance cameras caught them packing that night.” The screen then read, “Dave, Vanessa, Micah and Chanel quickly left, ending their experience abruptly.”

Their early exit left two people alone in tentative marriages: Nick Tramontino, who was paired with Vanessa, and Mariah Zernik, who was paired with Micah. (Dave was in a trial marriage with Chanel.)

Dave Adams (left) and Nick Tramontin from Season 3 of ‘Ultimate: Get Married or Move On’.

Adam Rose/Netflix (2)

Dave is now breaking his silence on their departure in an exclusive interview with PEOPLE, explaining why he and Vanessa decided to leave and what role her partner Nick allegedly played in the situation.

PEOPLE: Coming into the show, what were your expectations about how the process would affect your relationship?

Dave Adams: I think we both went in with the idea of ​​working on whatever was going on that wasn’t doing the right things for our relationship… and how can we become better partners to each other when we get out of this? Neither of us was getting into it because we were going to go explore other relationships. It’s always been about how we can be a better partner to our original self that we came here with.

Vanessa Hattaway and Dave Adams in the third season of ‘Ultimate: Get Married or Move On’.

Adam Rose / Netflix

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Is leaving early part of your expectations?

DA: No, that was not part of the plan.

Walk me through your and Vanessa’s decision to leave. What really happened that night?

DA: We had communication with trial marriage partners and production. I mean, me and Chanel were in a trial partnership together, so obviously we communicated about that. And Vanessa and Nick communicated about her departure.

Due to the events leading up to that evening, we were at The Choice much later than expected and were immediately thrown into the shoot. It was literally in the middle of the night at 2 or 3 in the morning, so we were very tired. I think a lot of us had work the next day and at that point it became almost unruly for us to continue being on the show. Eventually, we would end up with dysfunctional work. It just didn’t work out anymore with our careers, which go far beyond the show.

Dave Adams on ‘Ultimate’.

Courtesy of Netflix

I was ready to leave probably a few days before the election and before we moved in with our new person. Vanessa was still getting a lot of productive things out of researching, dating, and learning about people. But when we moved into our new places with our new people, I heard from Vanessa that she was in a really tough situation with Nick, and she was very quick to let me know what was going on, and that was just one of the straws that broke the camel’s back. back.

There were many things that happened to each of us independently, why we both wanted to leave, but when I heard about it, it became like, “This is actually very emotionally, mentally and potentially physically dangerous. We really have to make a decision here.” So we weighed the pros and cons of staying and talked about everything we’ve learned from our experience so far about our relationship, about each other’s relationships, and simply decided it was the best time to get out.

From left: Dave, Micah, Nick, Scotty, Caleb and JR on ‘Ultimatum’.

Neal Mei/Netflix

Can you explain what you mean by “dangerous” situation? Why were you both so worried?

DA: I will say that there were a lot of untruths that Nick told to get on the show via psychological evaluations that he just wasn’t honest about. Vanessa learned a lot of information the first day we moved in together, and it immediately raised more than a red flag, it was like a red flag on fire that we really needed to think about what was best for our safety.

And the other thing was that I heard from Vanessa that Nick was kind of luring her and persuading her to move in with him as a trial partner. They shared that bond of being both homeschooled [for years]which she was very excited about. But later she found out he was only homeschooled for three months, so it wasn’t the same. It was really over the top to have a relationship and then kind of capture Vanessa’s emotions and say, “Don’t you want to live with me? We have all these connections. We’re the same person.” No, you really didn’t. So there’s just a lot of manipulation.

[Editor’s note: In a statement to PEOPLE, Nick said of the claims: I’m surprised to hear this is Vanessa’s perspective, as we left on good terms. She continued texting me throughout the rest of my time filming, and before the reunion, I even asked if she was coming because I thought it might help clear the air. At that point, I had no reason to believe there was any unresolved tension between us. I went into the reunion optimistic about sharing our experiences. I thought we were on good terms and that discussing our time on the show would help shed light on how challenging the experience was for both of us. I was blindsided by the negativity and disdain directed toward me.

Looking back, it’s clear that I was at the end of my relationship with Sandy, while she was in the middle of hers with Dave. I consistently supported her decision to prioritize her relationship with Dave over staying on the show. I acknowledged and apologized numerous times if my being upset made her uncomfortable. She accepted my apology and made it clear that I wasn’t the sole reason she left the show. I genuinely wish them the best and hope they find happiness and kindness. I also hope they’ll choose compassion over attacking the character of someone they only spent two intense, emotional days with.]

Nick Tramontin on the third season of ‘Ultimate’.

Courtesy of Netflix

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Your decision to leave didn’t just affect you—it also had a domino effect on other couples. Also, did you talk about leaving with Chanel and Micah before you took action?

DA: I didn’t get to talk to Micah much because obviously I didn’t live with him very long, but he definitely expressed some dissatisfaction with the process and the experience and the way things were going. So I could totally see that he wanted to go alone, regardless of his thinking. And then, Chanel as well, they both had their own independent reasons for wanting to go, much like me and Vanessa.

It wasn’t a domino effect. But when we end the dating week and move into a trial partnership, you get your devices back… So everyone communicates in one way or another. And I think that was very important, because in my situation, there was a safety aspect, and in Chanel and Micah’s situation, they had other things going on. So it wasn’t like, “Dave wants to leave, that makes Vanessa want to leave,” it wasn’t like that waterfall effect.

In the end, I strongly recommend everyone to put their own mental, physical and emotional safety first and their health. And it’s not that we haven’t thought about the show and what’s going to happen with everything else, but … at a certain point, you say, “This is the best for us. We have to make this decision for us.” That was the ultimate reason for the decision.

[Editor’s note: Ultimatum creator Chris Coelen has previously told PEOPLE that production takes cast members’ safety seriously and would intervene “immediately” if anyone felt “unsafe in any way.” In a Dec. 5 interview, Coelen added of the show: “We are not filming 24/7. We always have a line to them, but they are living their lives. And in this particular program, we do have mounted cameras but we’re not obviously in their apartment with them or at their door 24/7. And so we are, every single day, very conscious of making sure that we are connected to them or checking in with them. We’re apprised to everything that’s going on with them to the extent that they tell us. I think people are aware enough of that, that if they ever feel like they need something, that they know to reach out to us.”]

Ultimatum season 3 cast.

Adam Rose / Netflix

What’s the biggest thing you’ve learned from your time on the show?

DA: I think it’s about seeing the good in people, and everyone, including you and me, has things we wish we could do better. There are different levels of it. Some things we do poorly on a normal level. Some things we do badly once and then it goes away. But everyone does things that their partner doesn’t like. There are so many other things that your partner does that you love about them. So, I think it’s a matter of focusing on those good things, because they are much more important for the future. Everyone has problems, but the thing is, what really matters, and what really matters is seeing all the good in one’s heart.

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Episodes 1-8 of Ultimatum: Get married or move on season 3 is currently streaming on Netflix, with the season 3 finale and reunion airing on Wednesday, December 18.

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