Every January, about half of American adults make New Year’s resolutions: promises to ourselves and the universe that usually involve doing less of the things we love too much and more of the things we are assumed make. For many of us, the resolutions we choose—to read or exercise more, to eat or drink less—tend to be the same year after year, with consistently disappointing results.
Studies show that 80 percent of New Year’s resolutions are abandoned by mid-February. By Valentine’s Day, we chastise ourselves for our failures, and when December 31st rolls around, we re-embrace the “new year, new you” mentality, preparing for another year of feeling bad about ourselves while remaining the same people we’ve always been.
‘Happy to Help’ by Amy Wilson.
Zibby Books
What if we use this January opportunity for a fresh start to reset something else: the idea that we have to fix ourselves before our lives can get better? The solution to a happier, more productive 2025 may lie less in vows of self-criticism than in clear assessments of how we spend our days. What if this year we decided to stop committing to things that don’t fulfill us? What if, this year, we start talking Not — to excessive and constant obligations that take up our time and energy without giving us much in return?
Instead of resolutions, here are five things to think about saying “no” to this January:
Say “no” to what you’re still doing mostly because you’re afraid to say you can’t do it anymore.
Our fear of disappointing others can become the main reason why we continue to engage in activities that drain us. Face the discomfort, have the awkward conversation and feel the freedom.
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Say “no” to things your child hates anyway.
Parents are often afraid to let their children drop out of sports or other activities, fearing that by letting them go, they will teach them the wrong lessons. But a little more relaxation in our families’ busy schedules can reduce household tension and allow our children time to discover their true passions.
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Say no to the idea that “it has to be you”.
Those of us who traditionally do more than our due can fall prey to the idea that every important task—even if it’s thankless—must be done, that there’s really no one else who can make those fundraising calls or fix that leaky faucet to an older neighbor.
While being reliable can be satisfying, allowing yourself to be seen as someone who always says “yes” will usually only increase the demands others place on you.
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Say “no” to the things that keep you from doing what you’re doing really you want to work.
Our bandwidth and resources are limited. In order to make time for what’s most important, we need to be specific—and honest—with ourselves about what those priorities are, and then be willing to be a little ruthless in shedding non-essentials that get in the way.
Say “no” to thinking we have to fix ourselves.
Too often our New Year’s resolutions are tasks to improve the things we dislike most about ourselves, instead of promising ourselves to do more of the things we enjoy, thus honoring what we already love in our lives and who we are.
This year, consider trading resolutions for “resoNOtions” — commitments to yourself to clear the way, to make room for more good things.
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I’m happy to help by Amy Wilson is out on January 7, 2025 from Zibby Books and is available for pre-order now, wherever books are sold.
Categories: Trends
Source: HIS Education