Tom Sandoval Admits He Was Surprised by the ‘Visceral Hatred’ After His Affair: ‘I’m a Stupid Reality Star’

Tom Sandoval is still dealing with the backlash he faced after his affair.

In PEOPLE’s exclusive episode from Monday Special forces: the toughest test in the worldthe Vanderpump Rules the star opens up to its own a fellow recruit at boot camp about the consequences of his choice to cheat on his then-girlfriend of nine years, Ariana Madix, with their friend Rachel “Raquel” Leviss.

Sandoval, 41, describes the months-long affair – which rocked the reality TV world after it was exposed in March – as a “pretty juicy fucking scandal” before elaborating on what he called a “long story”.

“I had an affair and it just exploded,” he says. “People were sending me messages like mean, so instinctive, like, hate.”

Speed ​​skater Erin Jackson asks her co-star why the affair was “such a big deal,” to which he replies, “Honestly, I don’t know. I’m a fucking dumb reality star. Like, come on man.”

‘Special Forces’ trailer: Tom Sandoval asked for a ‘beating’ after cheating

FOX via Getty

In a confessional interview, the Bravo star opens up about how the secret relationship – later dubbed “Scandoval” by fans – affected him and his reputation.

“Before this whole scandal, I met people who probably saw me Vanderpump Rules, and they’d be like, ‘Oh my God, he’s so cool.’ And now, people think I’m a total narcissist, creepy vibes.”

On his decision to join the survival show, he explains: “I’m definitely not here to escape. I want to punish myself. I think I deserve it.”

The actors of the movie ‘Vanderpump Rules’ are Ariana Madix, Tom Sandoval and Raquel Leviss.

Tammie/AFF-USA/Shutterstock; Cindy Ord/Bravo via Getty Images; Charles Sykes/Bravo via Getty Images

Nick Viall claims Tom Sandoval ‘sneaked’ photos of him and Raquel Leviss while filming ‘Special Forces’

It’s Sandoval Special forces co-star Kelly Rizzo previously told PEOPLE that the topic of VPR the scandal was started at the beginning of the series, thanks to Jack Osbourne.

Rizzo, 44, said Osbourne, 37, was “the first person to say that word [Scandoval] on the show” and that it made her realize who Sandoval was.

“We were all on the same bus,” she said. “And Tom was sitting next to me and he said, ‘Hi, I’m Tom,’ and I’m like, ‘Hi, I’m Kelly.’ But I had no idea who he was. And so Jack steps in for a moment, ‘Looks like we’ve got Scandoval on our hands.’ And I said, ‘Oh s—, that’s Tom Sandoval.’ And he said, ‘Yes.’ ”

Nick Viall, Jack Osbourne and Tom Sandoval in the Fox series ‘Special Forces: World’s Toughest Test’.

PETE DADDS/FOX

Rizzo said she “kind of felt bad” about how she reacted at first. But despite the rocky start, Sandoval and the entire cast formed a bond that felt almost like family, Osbourne said.

“We got to know each other so well and on such a deeper level,” Osbourne said. “Not to sound like a cliché, but we all laughed together and there were times when we all cried together. Bode [Miller] he shared his story about what had happened to his family, and there was not a dry eye in the house upstairs. We all just roared. And that’s the beautiful thing about this show. It’s incredibly difficult. It’s a total smash, but the connections that are made are wild.”

Tom Sandoval Says He’s Ready to Take Public Hate ‘For the Long Run’ After His Affair (Exclusive)

Tom Sandoval on the red carpet for Fox’s ‘Special Forces: World’s Toughest Test’ season 2.

Kevin Winter/Getty

As for the man himself, Sandoval told PEOPLE that he signed up for the brutal survival series as a way to get some emotional distance from the drama in his life.

“I think that both escape and I just want to focus on something completely different,” he said. “Take a vacation, go in a different direction for a while and do something. Focus on another aspect of me, because sometimes when you leave, you focus on a whole other part of you. It can teach you a lot about another part of you.”

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Special forces: the toughest test in the world airs Mondays at 9pm ET on Fox.

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Source: HIS Education