SUMMONING all the vast reserves of pomposity at his disposal, Ian Hislop tackled the issue of Keir Starmer and sleaze on BBC1 primetime last week.
“Just like previous Labor governments, like Blair who ran straight into Bernie Ecclestone,” said Hislop, who was about to lose the thread, “at worst it’s disappointing and B) it’s the same again.”
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Have I Got News For You has spent far too long nailing its political colors to the mastCredit: BBC
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Ian Hislop has vast reserves of pomposity at his disposalCredit: BBC
Then he sat back and waited for the usual applause.
And waited. . . And waited.
And now he would still be waiting if he hadn’t prompted a reaction from the crowd by adding: “It’s not popular, but it’s what happens.”
Admittedly, the cat was already out of the bag at that moment.
Two-tier comedy is alive and well on Have I Got News For You, which returns for its 68th series on Friday, with Kevin Bridges, who is a much better stand-up than a panel show host, plus guest reporter Helen Lewis and comedian Chloe Petts, a pair of left-wing yawners who have crashed and burned on this show before.
Big chance
I mention this fact for two reasons.
Firstly, the BBC’s continuity announcer lied when he said the show featured “fresh faces”, and secondly, because I want to meet the expectations of anyone who hasn’t seen HIGNFY yet, who may be watching it in the hope that it’s now doing flat, fried earth politics , which, let’s face it, is the only way a decent satire show can work.
Big chance.
Because if ever there was a case where the show was careful what it wished for, it was Friday’s HIGNFY, where they had Starmer, Angela Rayner, Ed Miliband and all the other Labor misfits at their mercy and couldn’t bring themselves to land one decent punch.
In fact, it was almost Putinesque in its delivery even without the threat of being thrown out of an eighth floor window if they went too far.
Gary Neville left ‘squirming’ on Have I Got News For You as Ian Hislop ‘roasted’ him over Qatar trip
A quarter of an hour went on until Hislop, probably more out of frustration, said, “That makes you think he’s just not very good at politics.”
And you’d have sworn he’d just announced that he was making fun of Mrs. Starmer, judging by the reaction of Helen Lewis, who began to gasp for air, her jaw dropping to the floor; and the audience in the studio, who groaned with dissatisfaction.
It’s a response that points to the real echo chamber problem for HIGNFY, which has spent so long nailing its political colors to the mast that the only people who would dream of going to watch the tape are fellow leftists in no mood to see their heroes knocked down a peg or two .
Generally speaking, approval-hungry panelists have neither the inclination nor the balls to defy them.
And so, after 15 minutes of fake war on Friday night, everyone has just returned to their comfort zone victims: Donald Trump, Liz Truss, Brexit and another old prime minister who agreed to a particularly lame joke, during a Taylor Swift segment, when Hislop said: “In Boris’ time, Swifty was when you got a member of staff pregnant.”
Same old process
The key words here are “in Boris’s time”.
Since then we have had three prime ministers.
Just like voting patterns, life and jokes go on, except at HIGNFY where the same old process will be repeated on tonight’s show with former guest Tory MP Andrea Jenkyns, who will be subjected to an ugly jab that will go down well with the studio audience, but leave longtime viewers feeling like they’re watching a 2019 rerun.
But the day of reckoning for this show is just around the corner.
America goes to the polls on November 5.
If they are to have any relevance or future, Have I Got News For You, Hislop, Merton, Nish Kumar, Chloe Petts, Marcus Brigstocke, The Last Leg gang and all the hundreds of other political activists who have masqueraded as “comedian”, in the past decade, they better get down on their knees and pray for Trump’s victory.
Comedy fans should be praying just as hard for Kamala Harris to win, so the industry can rise up and start anew.
And the rest of us should just pray for America.
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Kevin Bridges is a much better stand-up than a panel show host Credit: BBC
Enders line of the year
EASTENDERS’ line of the year.
Ravi: “Do you know what I want, Vinny? Someone who will put an end to it all.”
Amen brother. Amen.
BB seen better Daze…
ITV’s bland and forgettable launch of Big Brother made a slight but significant shift from the network’s flagship channel to ITV2 this week.
With the next phase, from this undignified shunt, which is complete oblivion, we hope.
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Big Brother’s Daze is a smug smear of environmental activismCredit: Rex
In the meantime. . .
Prepare positions for Lebanese refugee Khaled, who will miss the heavy artillery bombardment of the IDF after only a day or two in the company of screaming nightmare Lily, who has quickly established herself as the show’s main pain point through her stubborn refusal to shut up her stupid shit and go to bed.
Possible competition for that title, however, comes in the form of hairstylist Dean, tearful young farmer Sarah, Somalian Hanah, who’s from “da ghetto,” and a smug blob of environmental activism named Daze, who won’t tolerate anyone who doesn’t believe in climate change. but she has not yet managed to stick to the road.
An act of self-restraint that UK motorists should be eternally grateful for as Daze could probably clog up the Dartford Tunnel on his own.
He works honestly with the other housemates, all of whom successfully enter the house unaided on opening night – a task far greater than most of the rest of the cast – and there’s endless comedic potential in the character of Nathan, a former royal butler whose new job has prompted host Will Best’s obvious query: “A pork seller? Is that a euphemism or the real deal?”
If it follows Paul Burrell’s pattern? Both.
Unexpected morons in the packaging area
IMPOSSIBLE, Rick Edwards: “Who Replaced Nicolas Sarkozy as President of France in 2012?”
Craig: “Vladimir Putin.”
The Weakest Link, Romesh Ranganathan: “In rock music, which flying mammal appears in the titles of Meat Loaf’s top ten British album trilogy?”
Tyler West: “Horses”.
Romesh: “In meteorology, what season comes after winter?”
Mollie Pearce: “Autumn.”
And The Chase, Bradley Walsh: “Which singer was the best with the Beatles and Wings?”
Georgina: “Lulu.”
‘Cause I think it’s much more likely that someone from The Beatles was in Lulu than the other way around.
Lookalike of the week
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Labor MP Jess Phillips and three-time world darts champion John LoweCredit: Alamy
THIS week’s winner is Labor MP Jess Phillips and three-time world darts champion John Lowe.
Posted by John Hazeldine from Nottinghamshire.
Great sports insights
Rio Ferdinand: “He is a breath of fresh air.”
Lee Hendrie: “He missed, but then recovered and buried the rebound.”
And Simon Thomas: “Liverpool are playing right now. It’s halftime right now.”
(Compiled by Graham Wray)
TV gold
GOGGLEBOX’S Giles absolutely hits on Phillip Schofield on Cast Away: “He’s got a head full of fridge magnet clichés.”
The weekly joy of watching Chris McCausland dance with Strictly partner Dianne Buswell, who is clearly a brilliant teacher.
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Mortimer and White-house Gone Fishing, in the beautiful East Riding of Yorkshire is a sublime half hour of TV Credit: BBC
David Mitchell’s excellent series Ludwig, on BBC1.
BBC2’s utterly absorbing series Parole.
Both Mortimer and Whitehouse Gone Fishing, in the beautiful East Riding of Yorkshire.
A supremely sublime half-hour of television, rounded off by the chorus of Build by The Housemartins, which lacked just one thing – a BBC1 continuity announcer who knows how to keep quiet during the off-peak.
It’s not much to ask.
Random TV irritations
ITV’s perfectly vile drama Joan lacks the look and feel of the 1980s by about 30 years.
Shirley Ballas failed to knock off Anton du Beke the second time he used her as a dance prop, on Strictly.
Big Brother’s Hannah starts a sentence with “I can’t lie”, every time she’s about to lie.
And Nicola Thorp appears in the closing credits of the BBC1 Showtrial, where she played a smug left-of-centre presenter, as “Christine Stewart”, instead of “Herself”.
The Big TV Lies and Misconceptions of the Month
Strictly Come Dancing, Tess Daly: “I certainly enjoyed your samba show off, for whatever that’s worth.” (More precisely, nothing.)
Big Brother, Marcello: “Honestly, it was the best TV to watch.”
And Cast Away, Phillip Schofield: “I’m not doing this as ‘poor me’.”
God help us all if Phillip ever strays into self-pity.
JUST one funny moment so far from Big Brother.
Lily: “So what does a forensic psychologist do?”
But: “Forensics just talks about any legal aspect of psychology, so it can be a civil court or a criminal court. So I mostly work with people in prison.”
Break.
“I work at a Chinese takeout.”
URGENT help needed on Celebrity SAS: Who Dares Wins for Shazia Mirza, who, looking back on her stand-up career, says: “The hardest thing is to keep going. So many times I wanted to give up, so many times I thought: ‘Why am I doing this? What’s the point?’”
Anyone?
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Shazia Mirza on SAS: Who Dares Wins Credit: Pete Dadds / Channel 4
TV name of the month
And thanks to everyone who correctly identified the TV Name of the Month as Legal Counsel from Cast Away, with Phillip Schofield: Emma Cockshutt.
Categories: Optical Illusion
Source: HIS Education