DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER years without marital sex, I am considering paying a prostitute to relieve my frustration.
My wife closed the shop and doesn’t even want to talk about it.
I don’t want an affair, so I think that’s my only option. I am 56 years old, and my wife is 54 years old.
Although I love her dearly, our sex life has never been brilliant.
This is because she was raised by strictly religious parents, who made her feel that sex is a sin and only for procreation.
She wouldn’t sleep with me until we were married, and even then she wasn’t able to let herself go properly.
She would never try oral sex, nor would she let me try it on her.
Despite this, we had a regular, loving sex life, which continued even after she gave birth to our two grown sons.
But a few years ago, when menopause came, she started avoiding intimacy altogether.
She said she was not comfortable and that we were too old for such things.
She makes me feel dirty.
But I’m a healthy and fit guy and I still have a high sex drive. I feel extremely sexually frustrated.
Dear Deidre: Spot the signs that your partner is cheating on you
Masturbating in secret helped a little, but I miss the warmth of another body.
My wife is the only woman I want, so I wouldn’t consider a relationship with anyone else.
I just want sex – and the easiest way, it seems, is to pay for it.
Is this a bad idea? I would make sure I use protection and my wife never has to find out.
DEIDRE SAYS: Sleeping with a nun is not the answer. I think you know that, otherwise you wouldn’t be writing to me.
It is clear that you love your wife and what you lack is not only intercourse, but also intimacy and affection with him.
Paying for sex won’t get you this.
It can also cause guilt, with the burden of a secret you can never tell your wife.
Your wife’s lack of libido is probably due to menopause.
If she finds sex uncomfortable, her doctor may suggest a treatment that is right for her.
But this decline in her libido was exacerbated by her feelings about sex, which she never got over.
Relationship counseling could really help you both.
Make it clear to her how much you miss feelings of intimacy and ask her if she would consider it.
My How Counseling Can Help support pack contains more information, as well as How Sex Therapy Helps.
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Categories: Optical Illusion
Source: HIS Education