Allison Holker Boss On Seeing a Therapist To Cope With Grief After Husband ‘tWitch”s Suicide: ‘Never Been a Person to Ask for Help’

Allison Holker Boss shares her journey forward since the tragic death of her husband, Stephen “tWitch” Boss, who died by suicide at the age of 40 in December 2022.

In an honest essay written for Glamourprofessional dancer and So you think you can dance The judge spoke of the profound impact Stephen’s death had on her life. She described struggling with how to continue living after such a devastating loss. In the end, she decided to seek professional help.

“I had never been to a therapist before. Never. But having a therapist was really helpful, just having someone to open up to, but also getting advice on how to deal with things, especially in a really public setting,” Allison, 36, shared in his essay. Part of that is because I’ve never been the kind of person to ask for help in my life, ever.

“And strangely enough, something I realized very quickly in this grief and trauma was that people were actually very offended that I didn’t ask for help,” she continued.

“Not to mention, I also didn’t know what I needed help with because I’m so stuff-oriented. I have no idea,” she added.

Allison Holker talks about why she’s ‘grateful’ to be on set So you think you can dance as a new judge

Allison Holker Boss with Stephen ‘tWitch’ Boss and their three children.

Allison Holker/Instagram

In addition to seeking therapy, Allison, who shares three children with Stephen, emphasized the importance of consistency and support in her healing process. She told how her eldest brother prepared breakfast for his family every morning, demonstrating the power of routine in difficult times.

“He didn’t ask if we were hungry, he didn’t ask what we wanted,” she said.

Reflecting on her own routine, Allison emphasized the importance of maintaining daily rituals regardless of life’s challenges.

“That meant making my usual cup of coffee and taking my time before the kids got up, doing my hair and makeup, saying my affirmations and going over my schedule, getting organized,” she wrote.

“I’ve had this routine for years. I had no idea how much it would help me get through this grieving process, because literally, it’s so ingrained in me that even on my hardest days, I still get up and go through that pattern,” she continued. . “I love hair and makeup, so I feel better if I take the time to do it. And talking to myself for 15 minutes straight, saying those affirmations, really helped me show up. Those healthy habits are a big reason why I’ve made it this far on my own .”

Allison Holker Boss with her family. Allison Holker/Instagram

In the essay, Allison also reflected on her role as a role model for her children Weslie Renae, 15, Maddox Laurel, 7, and Zaija, 3. The most important lesson she wants them to learn from her experience is the importance of perseverance.

“That’s what I tell my kids every day. I wish I could give people a manual on how to go through what I went through, but I have no idea,” she said. “The only thing I can do is show up and figure it out because it’s all I know. It’s the only thing I have control over. Whether it’s work, my kids’ parent-teacher conference, a football game, a basketball game — I show up. Me to appear.”

Stephen ‘tWitch’ Boss and Allison Holker Boss Relationship Timeline Review: ‘My Forever Person’

Stephen “tWitch” Boss (L) and Allison Holker attend the Critics Choice Association’s 5th Annual Celebration of Black Cinema and Television at Fairmont Century Plaza on December 5, 2022 in Los Angeles, California.

Robin L Marshall/WireImage

Allison was the first to confirm the heartbreaking news that Stephen had died by suicide at the age of 40 on December 14, 2022.

“It is with the heaviest heart that I have to share that my husband, Stephen, has left us,” Allison said in a statement to PEOPLE. “Stephen lit up every room he stepped into. He valued family, friends and community above all else, and leading with love and light was everything to him. He was the backbone of our family, the best husband and father, and an inspiration to his fans.”

The couple first linked up in 2010 when they appeared as stars in Season 7 So you think you can dancebut they didn’t come to an agreement until the season-ending party.

“We danced at the end of that season So you think you can dance and we’ve been together ever since,” Stephen previously told PEOPLE.

“There was no dialogue, no conversation and no first time. We were literally dancing and holding hands together the very next day,” Allison added.

If you or someone you know is thinking about suicide, contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Line by dialing 988, texting “STRENGTH” to the Crisis Line at 741741 or going to 988lifeline.org.

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Source: HIS Education