‘American Idol’ Alum Jenna DeVries Confronts Her Cult Past in Music Video for ‘RIP’ (Exclusive)

There was always darkness in Jenna DeVries’ eyes.

Granted, the darkness seems to lighten a bit when the LGBTQ+ country artist delivers songs like the bright and bubbly “Back to Me” and the fun and flirty “Drunk Girls.” But during her new single “RIP,” the New York native reveals the pain that’s been simmering in her heart since she was a little girl.

“I was raised in a very high-control religious environment — a cult environment, to be honest,” DeVries tells PEOPLE. “I was subjected to a lot of inhumane things because of it. I got married at 19 to an incredibly abusive man and was in an abusive relationship for about four years. When I left him, I was completely ostracized by my entire community.”

Before long, DeVries found herself in a “conversion therapy camp that she describes as ‘terrible.'” “And when I came out a few years later after my divorce, it was like that whole community abandoned me again,” says DeVries, who first gained attention back in 2016 .as a Top 24 finalist at American Idol. “I felt like every time I got to a place in my life where I really needed these people to embody all the values ​​they supposedly held dear, they fell flat.”

These terrible feelings led DeVries to write “RIP.”

Jenna DeVries.

Stephen Dillion

“The song was definitely written out of anger,” she says of the song she co-wrote with Tyler Jacobson. “It was so interesting to mourn all that I had lost and to see how much power these communities can have over people in a harmful way. And especially now that I’m out in the LGBTQ+ community, I couldn’t believe the amount of people who said they loved me who didn’t anymore talk to me.”

He goes on to refer to the line in the song – If I die alone well baby then at least I’ll rest in peace, rest in peace.

“I’d rather live my life this way completely alone than be surrounded by people trying to destroy literally the core of who I am,” DeVries says quietly. – And that’s the truth.

Premiering exclusively on PEOPLE, the Stephen Dillon-directed music video for “RIP” delivers shocking images of the darkness DeVries once found herself in.

“I start the video in a coffin,” says DeVries, which is out in 2019. “And for me, I just had this vision of this image of me being trapped and isolated and kind of floating there on top of the water.”

Jenna DeVries.

Stephen Dillion

From there, DeVries was pictured walking through a cemetery and dancing among a raging bonfire in the music video, shot entirely in the Nashville area.

“We touch a little bit on the women who were burned at the stake, and we touch a little bit on that idea of ​​Lilith in the garden, and all these figures in mythology who were ostracized because of their power.” she explains. “I guess this video is just a celebration of the divine feminine and the strength that comes from a woman stepping into her identity and not letting people control her. For me, it was terribly cathartic.”

Jenna DeVries.

Stephen Dillion

The addition of Sunshine, a 19-foot, 35-pound albino Burmese python, made the video even creepier.

“This is my wife’s favorite part of the video,” says DeVries, who married Audrey Mattoon four years ago. “I remember her sitting there on the couch reading, and all of a sudden I yelled from across the house, ‘Honey, I figured out a way to rent a snake!'” She laughs. – It was great to hold her, but the dancers were terrified.

Jenna DeVries and Sunshine.

Stephen Dillion

Another shocking aspect of the music video is the transformation that DeVries goes through throughout the video in terms of her appearance, which was somewhat magically created by makeup artist Adriana Mejia.

“We did all those views in one day, which was crazy,” says DeVries. “We got to the final scene with black paint, and we painted my whole body. It was everything I could have dreamed of. It turned out perfect.”

And now DeVries hopes the video will get around and help others.

“I feel that our society does not want women to be angry,” she concludes. “But I think women are starting to understand their own anger. And I hope this song helps women access that anger and be able to say, ‘The things that happened to me or were done to me are not right. And I don’t like it and I’m not going to sit here and take it anymore.'”

Jenna DeVries.

Stephen Dillion

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Source: HIS Education