Deryck Whibley and Avril Lavigne Were Living 'Separate Lives.' How Tom Petty Inspired Him to Give a Marriage 'Ultimatum'

Deryck Whibley has revealed what led to the end of his marriage to Avril Lavigne.

In his new memoir A Walking Disaster: My Life Through Heaven and Hell (out Tuesday, October 8), Sum frontman 41, 44, opened up about the breakup of his three-year marriage to the pop-punk artist, 40, which stemmed from career changes that led to them being physically and emotionally “far away.”

After the punk group released its mediocre first album without former manager Greig Noiri, whom Whibley accused in his book of alleged sexual abuse, Whibley found himself in trouble.

Additionally, he suffered a herniated disc that required months of recovery while Lavigne was on tour promoting her 2007 album. The best damn thing and her hit single “Girlfriend”. Although he “couldn’t be more proud” of his ex-wife, he was constantly ridiculed by the media and often referred to as “Mr. Lavigne.” According to Whibley, there were also reports of Lavigne allegedly “cheating” on him in the press, but he “decided not to believe the rumors.”

Avril Lavigne and Deryck Whibley in the audience during the American Music Awards in Los Angeles in November 2007.

Kevin Winter/AMA/Getty

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“There wasn’t a single moment or situation that I could point to that caused the upheaval,” Whibley writes of her marriage in the book. “It’s not like it went downhill for a while and turned into a bad relationship. We never fought and always seemed completely connected to each other.”

While he initially tried to chalk it up to “a passing moment,” Whibley eventually had to deal with their dynamic.

“Avril and I continued to live separate lives until I couldn’t take it anymore,” writes the “Fat Lip” performer. “Motivated by the lyrics of Tom Petty’s ‘I Need to Know,’ I decided to face our problems and gave her an ultimatum: We have to fix what’s broken or I’ll move on,” he recalls in the memoir.

Whibley was tired of being “humiliated in the media” and hoped the ultimatum would be a “wake-up call”.

“When she was finally home for a few days, I prepared everything for her,” writes the “In Too Deep” musician. “’We have to get back to the respectful and loving relationship we had or just end it,’ I said. ‘This is not working and I can’t live like this anymore.’ Avril told me her decision. There was no crying. There was no big fight. There wasn’t even much discussion. It was just over.”

Deryck Whibley and Avril Lavigne.

Theo Wargo/WireImage

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Whibley and Lavigne married in 2006 when she was 21 and he was 26. When they announced their split in 2009, a source told PEOPLE that the marriage ended because Lavigne realized she was too young to be a wife.

“I’m grateful for the time we spent together and I’m grateful and blessed for our friendship,” Lavigne wrote on her website at the time.

Another source close to the couple told PEOPLE that the couple has been having serious issues for at least six months. However, they added that the split “is not because of Deryck wanting a child or her dating someone else.”

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Source: HIS Education