DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN I started finding women’s underwear hidden around the house, I was convinced my husband was cheating on me.
He had been rude to me for weeks, so I wasn’t that surprised by the revelation.
However, when I confronted him, he assured me that I had misunderstood everything and that he had a secret fetish. I don’t know how to feel now. Should I be horrified or relieved?
I am 43 years old and my husband is 47. We have been married for seven years after meeting on the Internet ten years ago.
We’ve always been so close, but now it feels like I’m married to a complete stranger – someone with strange sexual preferences.
He’s a big guy who likes to lift weights. I was looking for his bluetooth speakers in his gym bag when I first discovered a pair of lace panties.
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I then found three more pairs of women’s pants in the back of his sock drawer – all different sizes and styles.
Seriously upset, I checked his phone while he was sleeping. I expected to find text messages, but to my surprise, I discovered email confirmations of his underwear orders.
Soon after, I demanded to know what was going on.
He quickly admitted that he was buying women’s underwear because he was turned on, but tried to convince me that it was just a harmless ruse.
Since then I can’t look at him the same way and I’ve been avoiding sex ever since..
I did my best to forget about it, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little freaked out.
How do we overcome this?
DEIDRE SAYS: I’m sure you’d both like more than anything to just move on and forget it happened, but unfortunately it can’t be ignored.
Fetishes are often part of who someone is, so it can be unrealistic to demand that they stop immediately.
You both need to talk about what his fetish means to him, can he agree to compromise, should he participate, can you still imagine the future?
I would highly recommend that you both go and see a sex and relationship therapist who can help you work through what this issue might mean for your relationship.
While some men simply enjoy wearing women’s underwear from time to time, for others it’s a sign of a deeper-rooted need to permanently dress as women.
Please contact COSRT (Cosrt.org.uk) who can put you in touch with a reputable adviser.
Categories: Optical Illusion
Source: HIS Education