Grabbing the all-important after-school snack, my purse, and my coat, I head for the door.
But before I go to school, I have to do one more thing to prepare for my children’s return — watch a ten-minute porn video.
3
Mum-of-three Kellie James is happy with her secret habit (photo)
3
He watches pornography every day before going to school (photo) Credit: Getty
Many days, as the clock ticks around 2:45 p.m., I reach for my cell phone and watch the sexy show.
People who know me would be shocked, but I’m a calm, relaxed mom when I meet the kids at the school gate.
No one’s child deserves a mom who is hurt and nagging them from the moment they leave school.
And after some time to myself, which is exactly what my viewing habits are, I’m not such a high-strung, wired mother.
I am happy, relaxed and genuinely delighted to hear about their day.
That makes me a great mom.
Watching sex is a big taboo for women, but I watch porn on my phone every day — and sometimes I indulge twice a day.
None of my friends talk about pornography, and I’m sure they’d consider me a deviant if I admitted it.
I am the mother of three beautiful young children and I am happily married.
Marcus Brigstoke reveals he became addicted to pornography after cheating on his wife
My husband and I have been together for 11 years and I love having sex with him, but I’m often too tired to bother.
After having children, we are both so exhausted and unfortunately sex has been put on the back burner.
During the quarantine in March 2020, our intimate time hit rock bottom, with the kids always at our feet — and that’s when I started watching pornography.
I just enjoy it and I truly believe it makes me a better mom.
I’m not alone.
A new study of 1,200 women found that 77 percent admitted to viewing pornography in the past month.
I’m one of them, but even though 28 percent of women said they watch at least once a week, I’m more regular than most – because watching porn is something I incorporate into my busy life every day.
I work full-time for a charity as a marketing executive, and as I often work from home, I plan my porn viewing time around my breaks.
If I’m in the office, I count it in when I’m home alone without the kids.
Favorites are triples
My usual routine would be to watch it in the bedroom during lunch, maybe ten minutes or even less.
A bit of watching before the school run is great — my work hours are arranged around going to school, so the fact that I’m in a rush makes me even more excited.
Sometimes I masturbate while watching, and sometimes I watch it to get turned on, but I don’t want to continue.
I’ll admit that I usually feel bad afterwards – this may be partly because it feels like a compulsion, almost like a cypher.
During the first lockdown, my hours became more home-based and I realized one lunchtime that it never occurred to me to look at pornography on my phone.
It was an impulse that came out of the blue, and something I never dreamed I’d do when I was completely in the office.
But since that first viewing, I’ve looked almost every day.
I feel guilty because some of the porn isn’t very ethical and shows women being humiliated and mistreated — even though I only watch porn that looks consensual and I hope women aren’t forced into it.
There was no way I could detect that I was watching it regularly.
Kellie James
I recently went out in the evening with some friends and we were talking about sex.
One of the moms admitted that her partner regularly watches pornography, and I watched how the other moms reacted.
They were all horrified and said they were sure their partners hadn’t watched it and would worry about their significant other being attracted to other women if they were caught watching.
At that point I realized that I couldn’t reveal that I watched it regularly because I would probably be judged.
It’s strange that so many people watch it and pretend they don’t.
Once, when I was very drunk, I told a friend that I watch it sometimes.
She blushed, looked embarrassed and changed the subject, and I didn’t mention it again.
I couldn’t sleep for days after that, because I was convinced she would never speak to me again, but when we met for coffee the next week, she pretended it hadn’t happened.
I find work super stressful because I have a difficult manager who is unpredictable and we have a lot of long meetings on Zoom.
It’s often tiring and if I’m working from home, I’ll sometimes watch porn right after a meeting to distract myself and relax.
It takes me away from work and helps access another part of me.
For me, watching porn quickly is an easy way to get rid of sexual tension.
Watch together
It takes me longer to feel satisfied when I have sex with my husband, whereas if I masturbate while watching porn, I can be done in about five minutes.
I mentioned to my wife that I watched it once, without revealing how often.
He didn’t seem upset by my revelation and said maybe we should watch together, but that never happened.
Sometimes I worry that watching porn creates distance between us, because I suspect that he is watching it and doing it instead of having sex with me.
It makes me worry about the type of sex he’s watching and what his preferences are.
My favorite category is usually three — two men and one woman.
Interestingly, I would never like to do that in real life, so it’s escapism for me to watch something completely different.
I’m definitely noticing that I’m getting more and more used to watching porn and I’m no longer shocked by different types of sex, like I was in the beginning.
But I still don’t watch movies where girls are victims – it’s morally wrong.
I know deep down there is too much judgment for that.
Kellie James
There must be some sort of algorithm, since the site I use definitely shows me more on my phone — it always offers three.
I always make sure I’m browsing privately, mute if my husband is home, and make sure I’ve deleted my browsing history so my family doesn’t accidentally see things they shouldn’t.
I have no plans to stop watching porn, but I wish it would make me feel better and less ashamed.
Dating app IllcitEncouters.com reports that 80 percent of women feel more comfortable discussing and viewing pornography compared to five years ago.
This makes me feel like freely discussing my viewing habits with my friends over a glass of wine – but I know deep down there’s too much judgment for that.
Instinct tells me to keep my porn viewing a secret, but I’m pretty sure my friends probably do too, but they just won’t admit it.
*Name has been changed
…But don’t get addicted
3
Psychologist Emma Kenny offers advice when porn habits become too muchCredit: Submitted
PSYCHOLOGIST Emma Kenny has advice for those who feel that their pornography habit is becoming too much.
She says, “That dopamine high from watching it can be addictive.”
Here, Emma shares a few words of advice. . .
SOLVE WHAT IS BEHIND YOUR INTEREST IN PORN: Why do you turn to pornography?
Is it because you are stressed, bored or feel disconnected from your partner?
Once you understand the reason, you can tackle it.
For stress, try something calming like yoga or five minutes of deep breathing.
If boredom is the culprit, find something that excites you, whether it’s a new TV series or diving into a good book.
Recognizing what triggers you helps break the cycle of automatic behavior.
MAKE IT A REWARD, NOT A REFLEX: Think of pornography as a slice of chocolate cake – delicious as a treat, but unhealthy if consumed too often.
When you use it as a reward rather than a routine, it becomes more enjoyable and less of a habit.
For example, after a busy week at work, make it a Friday night treat rather than something you turn to on your lunch break.
Keeping it special helps you stay in control, stop feeling like a necessity and set limits.
CHANGE THE MOMENT WITH SOMETHING RANDOM: If you want to cut back on the amount you use, the next time you feel the urge, do something completely unexpected instead.
Play your favorite song, try a five-minute workout, or even start cleaning out that drawer.
Distracting yourself with something random gives your brain a chance to reset and break the habit loop.
Little moments like these can help you regain control without feeling like you’re missing out.
Categories: Optical Illusion
Source: HIS Education