Ina Garten Opens Up About Childhood Abuse By Her Father: ‘I Remember Thinking He Would Kill Me’ (Exclusive)

Ina Garten had a “very lonely childhood”.

In her memoirs, the famous chef speaks for the first time about the physical and emotional abuse of her late parents, Charles and Florence Rosenberg. Be ready when luck strikes (releases October 1). In an interview with PEOPLE, Garten, 76, recalls being afraid of her father, a surgeon, who would hit her and pull her hair if she did something he didn’t approve of.

“I was terrified,” says the Barefoot Contessa star. “I was physically afraid of my dad. I literally remember thinking he was going to kill me if I did anything. I was physically afraid of him. And my mother just wasn’t supportive.”

Garten grew up in Connecticut with her brother Ken, who was also a victim of their father’s wrath. Garten spent most of her time locked in her bedroom, she says.

Ina Garten at home in East Hampton, NY on August 26.

Allison Michael Orenstein

“If there’s a threat of violence, you’re always afraid, even when it’s not happening. So I basically spent my entire childhood in my bedroom with the door closed,” she says. “I think it was just protection. Just to protect myself.”

IN Be ready when luck strikesGarten describes her mother as controlling. She tells PEOPLE that her bedroom, the same one she calls her “safe haven,” was decorated in peach and white even though she wanted purple because Florence told her it would “look bad.”

“That’s something she often told me,” she adds.

Ina Garten (right) as a child. ina garden/instagram

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“I wouldn’t be surprised if she was diagnosed with Asperger’s [Syndrome],” says Garten. “She really didn’t know how to have a relationship, which is why I think as I’ve gotten older, having relationships has been so important to me.”

Garten experienced a change when she met her current husband, Jeffrey, at the age of 16. “Everything changed when I met Jeffrey,” she says.

Ina Garten and Jeffrey Garten at home in East Hampton, NY on August 26.

Allison Michael Orenstein

After dating for four years, the two got married in 1968.[My mother] I thought I was too young to get married,” Garten recalls, “but it was the first time in my life that I just told her, ‘I know you don’t think this is a good idea. And for the first time, I’m really sorry to tell you this, but I don’t care. I’m doing this.'”

Ina Garten Says Her Childhood Is Why She Didn’t Want Kids: ‘There Was Nothing I Wanted To Recreate’

Garten reconciled with her father later in life, but never reconciled with her mother. “He apologized, in his own way, and my mom never acknowledged it,” she says.

“I think I overcame my childhood through sheer determination,” reflects Garten. “I just wasn’t going to spend my life that way. And I think a lot of times people decide to live their lives in a different way and they end up going back to what they feel is familiar, and I was determined to do that. And then I met Jeffrey and he showed me a completely different way of life.”

Be ready when luck strikes is out on October 1 from Crown Publishing Group and is available for pre-order now, wherever books are sold.

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Source: HIS Education