Jada Pinkett Smith on Why She Sold Drugs as a Teen: ‘That Was My Solution to Survive’ (Exclusive)

Jada Pinkett Smith had a beautiful life. “Yeah, it could be a movie,” he agrees with a laugh. And the highs, lows, lower lows and higher highs are all in the pages of her stunning and heartfelt new book, Worthy.

Now 52, ​​Jada is leaving no details to chance, opening up about her marriage to Will Smith, her struggles with mental health and suicidal ideation, the infamous 2022 Oscars and her childhood. There, she says, are lessons learned – and not learned.

And then she ends up leading a double life: a promising actress at school, a rising drug dealer on the streets.

“When you’re not a priority to your parents,” Jada tells PEOPLE in this week’s issue, “you don’t know how to be a priority to yourself. I had parents who were addicted to drugs.”

Jada Pinkett Smith Opens Up About Marriage, Oscar Slap and Her Journey to ‘Self-Acceptance’ (Exclusive)

Jada was raised in different homes. Sometimes with her maternal grandmother — who would become a guide — and sometimes with her mother, Adrienne Banfield-Norris, a heroin addict who would get sober and become a support in her and her children’s lives and on set Talk about the red table. Her father, who was sometimes violent, would come in and out of her life. (Robsol Pinkett Jr. died in 2010.)

“Not having a healthy foundation, as I only found out in adulthood, had some really powerful consequences for how I saw myself,” she says.

But today he can clearly see his childhood. “Our parents are not responsible for our wholeness,” she says. “But I didn’t know how to create healthy boundaries, create healthy relationships.”

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Her late grandmother Marion Banfield provided key lessons. “My grandmother felt it was very important to be able to relate to anyone, and she felt I had to be well-rounded to do that,” says Jada. “Whether it was through reading books or hobbies, understanding different types of religions , she wanted me to always have a starting point so that I could have a common language with another person.”

She also taught her how to keep the house. “AND intact house, that’s for sure! I know how to clean some floorboards and how to clean a bathroom,” says Jada. “She also taught me to never depend on a man. For pleasure or for money. She says, ‘Your pleasure belongs to you.’ And ‘don’t depend on man for your finances’.”

“I knew that all I needed was something I had to secure,” says Jada. “I decided to sell drugs.”

“When we were growing up, the drug dealers were the ones who had the wealth,” shares Jada. “That’s what we easily saw as success. And so to me, given my circumstances at the time, my mother was not well. She was a highly functional heroin addict. We didn’t have the things we should have had. The home we lived in was not taken care of.”

Jada worked several jobs, “legitimate jobs,” starting at age 12. “I had to have money in my pocket,” she says. She was a telemarketer, she worked at The Gap. “I just wanted financial freedom,” says Jada.

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There were also “what if” fears, she says. “What if something happens to my mother? What if he doesn’t come home one evening? Or overdosed, arrested, whatever. And so I decided to sell drugs. I decided to sell crack cocaine.”

All, she says, were dealing with the drug epidemic in Baltimore in the 1980s. “Everyone,” Jada says. “Drugs would touch you, period. You could use them, you could sell them, but there was no staying in such an environment and drugs not touch you. And I’m not saying that’s right, of course, I’m in a completely different mindset now. But when you’re living in a war zone and you’re just thinking about survival, I wasn’t trying to do drugs. I safe she didn’t want to be a drug dealer’s girlfriend. But I wanted money so I could be independent. I wanted to take care of myself.”

He laughs at his ambition and arrogance. “I thought I was going to be queen for sure,” she remembers. “You can get caught up in the scenery. I played with some really tall players at the time. It’s a whole ‘nother Jada, a whole ‘nother Jada who would chase someone down an alley with a knife because they stole $700. Or Jada who would sell crack cocaine, and then she gets set up and two guys come in with nine millimeters and she gets a gun pointed at her head.”

For more on Jada Pinkett Smith, pick up the latest issue PEOPLEon newsstands on Friday.

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She gets serious. “It was my solution at that moment to survive,” says Jada. “And it really helped me. But it put me in a lot of danger and I hurt a lot of people along the way.”

Jada says that sometimes she thought she was doing good. “We really felt like we used to be so charitable,” she shares. “Whether we saw a single mom or an old lady at the market and paid for their groceries. Or we’re at a restaurant, going to pay for someone’s meal or whatever. And you really think you’re helping without recognizing that you’re part of the problem.”

But Jada learned what she said became valuable lessons. “I feel like the streets of Baltimore taught me,” says Jada, “fearlessness and the ability to spot danger. And I brought that to Hollywood in 1990.”

Her new memoir, Worthyhits bookshelves everywhere on October 17th.

If you or someone you know is struggling with substance abuse, contact the SAMHSA Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP.

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Source: HIS Education