Jada Pinkett Smith Says She and Will Smith Have Been Separated Since 2016: We Were 'Exhausted with Trying'

“I think we were both still stuck in our fantasy of what we thought the other person should be,” Jada said on the ‘Today’ show on Wednesday.

Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith live separate lives — and have for some time.

In a candid interview on Wednesday at Today show ahead of the upcoming release of her memoir Worthythe 52-year-old actress revealed to Hoda Kotb that she and her husband Will (55) have been separated for seven years.

Jada confirmed that it wasn’t a “divorce on paper,” as Kotb put it, but “by the time we got to 2016, we were just exhausted trying.”

“I think we both of them are somehow still stuck in our imagination of what we thought the other person should be,” she told a television reporter.

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When asked by Kotb (59) why they haven’t talked about the divorce yet, Jada said that they are “not ready yet” and added that she and the Oscar winner, whom she married on New Year’s Eve 1997, “I’m still trying to figure out, between the two of us, how to be in partnership.”

“As far as that, how are we going to present it to people? We haven’t figured that out,” she said.

The Run it the actress also said she “made a promise that there would never be a reason for us to divorce,” explaining, “We’ll work through … whatever.”

“I just couldn’t break that promise,” she added.

Jada and Will have two children: son Jaden, 25, and daughter Willow, 22 Emancipation the actor also shares son Trey, 30, with ex-wife Sheree Zampino.

From L: Jada Pinkett Smith, Willow Smith, Will Smith, Jaden Smith and Trey Smith on March 27, 2022 in Beverly Hills, California.

Arturo Holmes/FilmMagic

Jada Pinkett Smith Opens Up About Marriage, Oscar Slap and Her Journey to ‘Self-Acceptance’ (Exclusive)

In her new book, Jada reflects on the moment Will punched Chris Rock in the face on stage at the 2022 Oscars after the comedian, 58, made a joke about her shaved head. (Jada lives with alopecia.)

“We lived separate lives and were there as a family, not as husband and wife. But when I hear Will yell ‘wife’ in the chaos of the moment, an inner shift Oh s—. . . I am his wife! it happens immediately,” she writes.

Jada goes on to recall how she felt like her teenage self at the time, “in a club in Baltimore, a fight broke out, and s— could start shooting.”

“I am aware that I am at the Oscars in a beautiful but very heavy forest green dress with a high collar, a zippered bodice and a thousand-mile train, and I had to sit all evening,” she writes. “But no matter how tall I am recently experienced, my old mechanisms kick in and my mind works, Oh s—, if I have to fight or flight, I’m done! I can’t even get up!”

He adds in the book, “But no matter what, Will and I are in this together.”

Memoirs of Jada Pinkett Smith Worthyout October 17, 2023 Jada Pinkett Smith recalls ‘huge hopelessness’ behind ‘so-called perfect life’ in first book excerpt (Exclusive)

Will and Jade’s wedding has long been a subject of fascination for fans. Immediately after the merger, they were crowned Hollywood royalty, which brought a lot of gossip and speculation.

“We’re still figuring it out,” Jada tells PEOPLE in this week’s issue of the state of their marriage, confirming they’ve been separated for six years before the 2022 Oscars. “We’ve been doing really hard work together. We just got a deep love for each other and we’re going to figure out what that looks like for us.”

As for her kids, “My kids, they’re little gurus,” says the actress. “They taught me a deep sense of self-acceptance.”

“They love every part of me,” she adds of Jaden, Willow and Trey. “The level of love, the unconditional love they have for me and their dad. And it’s one thing to want to be the person who gives that unconditional love. And then there’s being the recipient of that.”

Worthy is out Tuesday wherever books are sold, and is now available for pre-order on amazon.com.

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