A man is left feeling confused after his wife became angry with him for not planning a surprise birthday trip for her – despite the couple agreeing that a trip was not in their budget at the moment.
In a Reddit post “Am I A——?” forum, a man wrote that his wife, who is five years younger, likes to travel, especially on her birthday. He said the couple traveled to Brazil last year and enjoyed a month-long vacation in Europe last May.
Now his wife’s birthday is just a few days away, but after some “long talks”, the two have come to a mutual decision that they cannot afford to travel this year due to their current financial situation.
“Europe left us in debt, and some health problems left us with almost no savings,” the man explained. “Also, we want to have children this year, and we need medical help for that. That also costs money.”
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A woman opens a gift (photo).
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Despite their previous argument, it seems the wife thought her husband would still go ahead and surprise her with a birthday trip. When she discovered that he had not planned the trip, she “snapped”.
“She’s very angry now because she’s staying home for her birthday,” the man wrote.
The wife denied agreeing not to travel this year and told the husband that he “should know what she wants for her birthday and he should know that she wants to travel in any direction and surprise her with some tickets.”
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The man asked the Reddit community for advice on how to “calm the situation down,” even admitting that he gave in to his wife’s wish to travel to smooth things over with her. But she rejected his olive branch.
“I offered to buy tickets at the last minute anywhere, but she doesn’t want to now [a trip] for she said I would only do it because she forced me,” concluded the man, asking, “Am I ——-?”
The post garnered more than 11,000 comments and sparked a lively discussion. Many accused the wife of being “selfish” and having unreasonable expectations, as well as unfairly opposing their agreement not to travel.
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“You’re not a mind reader and her agreeing to this while expecting you to renege on the deal is wrong,” one person commented, before questioning the wife’s willingness to ignore their strained finances to get what she wants.
“Does she really have the attitude that financial challenges just don’t matter if it’s something she wants or cares deeply about?” they continued, asking, “Are you on the same page in terms of what financial responsibility means, what expenses should be eliminated and what should be prioritized?”
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Airplane seats (photo).
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Another commenter agreed, advising a man to sit down with his wife and have an honest discussion about the “big picture” and their long-term financial goals as a couple.
“Financial stability should come first, no matter what. No one should travel if they are going to go into debt or have problems after returning,” they wrote. “Travel is a DESIRE, not a NEED. If your wife doesn’t see travel that way, and it’s a ‘need’ to her, maybe you’re just incompatible.”
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Many other people also urged the man to consider whether he and his wife are really ready to start a family, given her desire to travel often and their financial realities.
“You’re in debt and have no savings. That’s not a situation to travel in. And even worse, it’s definitely not a situation to think about having a child,” someone wrote. “Children cost money, children come with unexpected costs.”
Another chimed in: “My advice is don’t even think about kids until you’re both on the same page with your financial goals. Kids add a level of financial stress (and stress in general) that you can’t even imagine right now.”
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Source: HIS Education