DEAR DEIDRE: I have sex with two women, both in a ‘friends with benefits’ arrangement.
Most guys would think it’s fantastic to have sex on tap and two women chasing you. I just feel exhausted.
The problem is that one of them is married – and I fell in love with her. The other is single, but wants a relationship, and I don’t really like her.
I am 27 years old, and the women are 26 and 30 years old.
My married lover is a work colleague. We started having sex after an office date, when she got very drunk and confided that her husband was trash in bed.
She said she loved him, but the lack of sex made her feel ugly and frustrated.
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I joked that I might change it because she’s gorgeous. We ended up having sex in the alley outside the pub.
After that, she said that she would like to repeat that experience.
We started having sex whenever we could. At first it was good, but then I realized that I had feelings for her.
She says she will not leave her husband.
Now every time I see her, I feel depressed, knowing that she will return to him.
In the meantime, I got involved with another woman – who is an old friend of mine from college.
I said I didn’t want any relationship and she said that was fine. But she becomes quite poor – and gets angry when I say I can’t see her.
He says he wants to make things official.
The two women do not know each other. What a mess.
What should I do?
DEIDRE SAYS: ‘Friends with benefits’ arrangements work until someone gets emotionally involved.
You fell in love with one of your lovers and the other fell in love with you.
You have to accept that a married woman is simply not available. See my support package, Your Lover Not Free, for more on this type of relationship.
If sleeping with her makes you unhappy, it’s best to end your relationship.
But that doesn’t mean you should have a relationship with another woman. The right thing to do would be to stop sleeping with her, because otherwise you will hurt her.
Be honest and tell her that it’s best if we’re just friends – no ‘conveniences’.
Then you will be free to meet another woman, who is both available and someone you want a relationship with.
Categories: Optical Illusion
Source: HIS Education