Nick Carter reflects on the loss of his brother Aaron Carter as he marks the one year anniversary of his death.
The Backstreet Boys singer, 43, said he still has a hard time accepting that Aaron is gone. It’s still amazing to me, Nick told E! News of Aaron’s sudden death on November 5, 2022, aged 34. “I’m still processing the whole situation and trying to make sense of it – because it’s not.”
“But I hope one day I can figure it all out,” he added.
Aaron, who struggled with substance abuse and mental health issues, was found dead in the bathtub of his home in California. The Los Angeles County Medical Examiner-Coroner later stated in a report that Carter was “incapacitated while in the bathtub” after inhaling difluoroethane and taking alprazolam, which ultimately led to his accidental drowning.
Nick told E! News is also struggling with the fact that he can no longer talk to his brother. “No matter what he and I have been through in our lives, we’ve always been able to pick ourselves up, we’ve always been able to get back to that place, and now I can’t and it hurts,” he explained.
Amid his grief, Nick relied on the support of his family, including wife Lauren Kitt Carter and their three children, Odin, 7, Saoirse, 4, and Pearl, 2.
“My children are everything to me,” he said. “If I lost everything, if I wasn’t a Backstreet Boy anymore, if I didn’t have the opportunity to still perform for people and entertain them, as long as I still have my kids and my family, I’d be OK. All these things on the outside don’t matter to me .”
Aaron Carter’s Death: The Details Behind His Sudden Death
Nick said that “trying to be the best father I can” and throwing himself into the daily routine of raising his children helped ease his grief. “That’s what I’m focused on,” he explained. “Being present with my kids, listening to them, parent-teacher conferences, driving them to school, taking them to Halloween and being there when they want to trick-or-treat.”
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Nick Carter shares emotional new song for late brother Aaron: ‘Miss You with All My Heart’
From left: Aaron and Nick Carter. Michael Tran/FilmMagic
In January, Nick paid tribute to his late brother with a new song written in his honor. On the emotional track “Hurts to Love You,” he sings of how he hoped Aaron could conquer his demons: “I always hoped that your tomorrow/Would be better than the day before/I hoped that you’d find your own path to follow/Until the place where you were happy in this world.”
In an Instagram post the day after Aaron’s death, Nick echoed the same sentiment as he touched on his “complicated” relationship with his sibling. “Even though my brother and I had a complicated relationship, my love for him never faded,” he wrote. “I always hoped that somehow, one day he would want to get on a healthy path and eventually find the help he so desperately needed.”
“Sometimes we want to blame someone or something for the loss, but the truth is that addiction and mental illness are the real villains here,” he added.
Nick Carter and Backstreet Boys Weeping Tribute to Aaron Carter at London Concert: ‘Heavy Hearts’
In the 2023 Hulu documentary Aaron Carter: The Little Prince of Pop, Nick’s Backstreet Boys bandmate AJ McLean told how he helped Aaron check into rehab five years before his death.
“In 2017, Aaron reached out to me, asked me for help. I said, ‘Look, if you get on a plane, come to LA, I’ll make sure you get treatment.’ And he showed up,” McLean (45) said. “I was shocked, but I was happy, and he checked into a treatment center in Malibu.”
Unfortunately, Aaron’s stay was short-lived. “A few days later, I talked to him and then he kind of disappeared. I think it was maybe two weeks, so I called my friends at the treatment center and they said he checked out,” McLean continued.
Aaron left behind a son, Prince, who turns 2 on November 22.
If you or someone you know is struggling with substance abuse, contact the SAMHSA Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP.
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